15 February 2017

UKIP: Paul Nuttall named In honours list

Paul Nuttall:  - TheBigRetort uncovers the truth behind "the lie".


Apparently UKIP leader Paul Nuttall responded to the BBC'S Andrew Marr that he was not responsible for a LinkedIn page that claimed he concluded his PhD in 2004. He retorted:


'No, I've never claimed I've got a PhD. It's not on my website. 'It's on a LinkedIn page that wasn't put up by us and we don't know where it's come from.'


But how about Companies House filings: do they solve the mystery of the Nuttall Honours?


Documents filed for the UKIP leader's company THE SONICA MUSIC FOUNDATION LTD (06049348), page 5, signed 4th December 2006... the answer lies under Honours etc, ... "BA MA Cert Ed."




















22 April 2016

Sainsbury's: Where less is 'more'

Sainsbury's shoppers may be delighted to learn that there has been a recent change in the store's misleading pricing: and it's due to... TheBigRetort.


A can of Napolina Plum Tomatoes was recently on sale at various Sainsbury stores at 50 pence. Why then was a sleeve of 'four' selling at £3.50 in the same store? 

In other words, the pack of four was 37.5p per can dearer than a single can.

Sainsbury's responded: "As you can imagine, in line with industry standards,  we promote different pack sizes at different times. For example,  since your first email [the one the press office did not answer?], the offer on a single can of Napolina has finished, while the four pack is down to £2, from £3.50...."

In words of the canny shopper... we realise we have been rumbled; and so we have stopped misleading shoppers, by reducing the correct item...  instead of the one that allows us to hoodwink you; repeatedly.

Sainsbury's claimed that it was the single can itself that was on 'special offer'  - and not the carton of four; thereby reducing a single from £1 to fifty pence - as and when it suited.

Apparently Sainsbury's pushes the single price of a can of tomatoes up and down throughout the year. However, unsuspecting customers do not usually expect a single can to cost 'less' than a carton of four, and so this seems to be somewhat convenient... for Sainsbury's.

A carton of four is presumed to be cheaper, isn't it? Otherwise people would just buy four single cans, at £2, which then cost less than the pack of four - at £3.50. [In fact, a certain sharp-eyed shopper did this, and saved £1.50.]

The questions that shoppers to Sainsbury's should surely be asking: Is that "special offer" really that special.

And if so... special to whom?

TheBigRetort





26 November 2015

Andy ASDA say 'sorry'


Following heavy defections by shoppers to Aldi and Lidl retail chiefs at WalMart may be wondering why ASDA's customers across the Pond are choosing to lay their sheckel at competitors' tills. TheBigRetort....

ASDA, Deptford.... Time: Late afternoon-ish. As previously reported...

Before he would allow me to leave the store the security guard wanted to search my shopping bag. He wouldn't say why. After some rummaging he failed to find whatever he was searching for. He waved me off - without apology. When she listened to my complaint at the telephone the new store's manager wasn't at all happy. The 'incident' - as she termed the illegal search - was not the face of ASDA that she would like to present to the people of Deptford. The guard would be... 'retrained'. She seemed keen for me to accept the 'good will' voucher... I resisted. I didn't want to darken ASDA's Deptford door again. She persisted... I could use it in any ASDA store 'in England'. Letter of apology? Confirmation that the guard would be retrained? And a goodwill voucher, for an unspecified amount? No doubt the value of the voucher would match the seriousness of the incident. The ASDA price of goodwill. Less is more you know. Days passed... however when the letterbox moved it was either to the sound of the usual paraphernalia dropping to the hallway floor, or the wind. An apology - from ASDA? You‘ll be lucky, the letterbox mocked.

'Being a people person'

Andy Clarke claims in press releases that 'being a people person‘ is uppermost in his top-tips for retail success as ASDA's chief executive. If my experience was anything to go by the reality is anything but.


So TheBigretort put it to "Andy Asda"


Is ASDA (Deptford) profiling its customers based on the colour of their skin?

The question may have seemed left of the shopping aisles. But the thought had been niggling at the back of my mind like the locked wheel of a shopping trolley.
At odds with his man-of-the-people image, Lisa Sutcliffe in executive relations responded on Andy Asda's behalf:



“I’m sorry you were upset after being stopped by my colleague after you had visited the new store. If we see any suspicious behaviour then we are able to stop and request to see the contents of bags which you may have and also ask to see a receipt for those items." Sutcliffe added, ’We don’t profile shoplifters however, there are some behaviours which will arouse suspicions.’


Andy Asda-speak... Certain shoplifters display behaviour that we, err... profile.

Remarkably Sutcliffe was also claiming that ASDA is not only able to stop and request to see the contents of bags but to also see receipts for items purchased elsewhere - which a big porkie pie. (Forget English law... It's an American-owned firm. Think 'Asdanimo'.)

Andy Asda had trumped my old-race-card with a my staff get-out-of-jail-free one.

BUT... I wasn't impressed. ASDA was dealing from a stacked deck. The guard had much to gain from justifying his actions... surely Sutcliffe wouldn't be relying on his word alone - would she?

If so, CCTV would at least display what these ‘behaviours’ were. (In truth, I felt certain that the only thing it would show is my receding hairline. )

There is no smoke without fire. But there is too no fire without fuel. And even more damning to ASDA... it would reveal that it must have been something else which fuelled the guard's 'suspicions'. Some nebulous thing that was not in and of itself behavioural. The fact that the behaviour defence was placed after the manager spoke to me at the phone offering her apology and a good will voucher and staff retraining being of course notable.

Be that as it may... if Andy Asda wasn't profiling shoplifters that day - based solely on the colour of their skins - then one would have thought that such a question alone would have merited production of the CCTV evidence in support of the 'certain behaviours' excuse put forward: Because that is all it was.

ASDA TRAINING MANUAL: WHAT CONSTITUTES 'SUSPICIOUS' BEHAVIOUR'?

ANSWER: DARK SKIN. CURLY HAIR, AND LIPS THAT PUT MICK JAGGER IN THE SHADE


EXECUTIVE RELATIONS GO AWOL

Perhaps it was pure coincidence. But Sutcliffe went on annual leave, after I requested the CCTV footage. (The old annual-leave-trick is like the military AWOL.)


ASDA it transpired seemed reluctant to release footage of the incident that would confirm it had acted correctly, without bias, and within the law. Three things that it did not do that day, unfortunately.


However, I pressed on...


It is oft stated that the left hand does not know what the right hand is doing... however this seemed to be really a case of Asda Andy fully realising what the hand was doing at Deptford that day - and in which direction the middle finger may have been pointing.


Reuters: “They have all been hurt by a price war, as they attempt to stem the loss of shoppers to discounters Aldi and Lidl, and by commodity-led deflation.”


Now there's a retort... Could the former shelf-stacker from Grantham be so paranoid that when he opens a new store in Deptford, that he blames his retail losses on those that his staff claims 'we do not profile'?


In the next GRIPPING instalment, the CCTV footage goes AWOL, along with the security guard - TheBigRetort





















16 October 2015

ASDA: Racially profiling?





Andy Clarke, the rabidly rugger-mad chief executive of ASDA, lists ‘being a people person‘ amongst his top tips. It is this dealing directly with the shopper that catapulted the 17 year-old shelf stacker in Grantham to an “all together better” - is it really? - stewardship on the top rung of the Walmart retail ladder. However when a question was put to chief executive Andy on the racial profiling of his customers, there ASDA be silence. TheBigRetort



The new ASDA customer-friendly store in Deptford High Street is said to be one of the smallest London retail stores. However, part of the retail group's ‘southern strategy‘, I was impressed with its size and space which gives the shopper the impression of the freedom to roam the aisles. Unfortunately it was a freedom that was not reserved for all its customers.

As I made my way through the exit the guard stopped me, abruptly, and demanded - quite loudly - to look inside my Morrison's bag for life. Why?

He declared that I had not paid at the till for the items inside.

Which was technically true; I hadn't.

He also claimed ‘by law‘ - which law he didn’t seem to know - that he had the right to search my Morrison's bag for life, without any reason given, and to stop me leaving, until I allowed him to do so.

A misleading set of rights if ever I felt sure... The Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE) 1984 gives the police statutory powers to search a person without making an arrest. But had the right now been extended to ASDA?

My own rights to one side, the ASDA guard informed me that he would physically detain me if I tried to exit the store. I tried to remonstrate... Asking him why he felt the need to look into my bag... But all to no avail. He would neither summon the manager, call the police, or conduct his search in a more private place. 

As I was by now experiencing a feeling that I can only describe as quite rage, I decided to let him have it.

The Morrison's bag for life that is.

However, there was a more compelling reason for acquiescing to his questionable demand: the more I refused the more ‘suspicious‘ I became in the eyes of 'the others'. And many eyes were upon me.

And so it was, following an open invitation by Andy Clarke to look around his new store, his 'southern strategy', that the inquisitive fingers of his security guard rifled over the pages of my free Evening Standard on a quest to find the reason behind the true decline of ASDA’s retail losses.

‘Simpleton’ was written on this guy's name badge and he nosed further into the bag like a ferret. Suddenly he found something fishy... tuna from the fishmonger on the high street, right? Casting this aside he now homed in on a brown sliced loaf. Caught bang to rights!

However, this one was crusty and very tasty, he instinctively knew it was not purchased at ASDA. (Percy Ingle’s High Class Bakers, 31-33 Deptford High Street. Established 1954. Yummy.)

His face crumbled… His accusatory eyes settled on mine. The gist went something like this.

‘Where did you buy… this?‘ He held up a large bottle of sparkling water.

Apparently not only had he been trained by ASDA, or some obscure security firm 'sarf' of the Thames, but he had the right to know.

‘Know‘… know what?

‘Everything.’

The neurons in his brain seemed to leak out of the pores of his skin as if saying surely there must be something - anything - damning.

He explored further.

'Where did you get this?’ He moved the bottle of water away as if I was going to gulp the evidence down.
‘Tesco.’
‘Where’s your receipt?'
'I don’t have one.'
'Then you can’t leave.’
'What..?'
'No receipt, you can't leave.'

‘Can you prove it’s from your store?’ I countered weakly.
He paused. ‘I don’t have to,’ he said triumphantly.

‘Look,’ I sighed, ‘do you even sell that water?’
‘I don’t know,’ he admitted. But without irony.

‘YOU DON'T KNOW IF YOU SELL THE WATER YOU ARE ACCUSING ME OF STEALING!’

'Did I say you was stealing? I'm just giving you the opportunity to pay at the till.'  ASDA speak. It was pure Python

 ‘It could be ours,’ he countered before I drew breath. There was no end to the one liners.‘Where is your receipt?’
‘What for - water that you don’t stock?‘
‘I don’t know that - do I?’ he said dryly.
‘Did you see me put it in my bag?’
‘I don’t have to. I must see your receipt.’
'It's not from your store.'

As far as customer service was concerned, this was uniquely ASDA.

Fortunately, suddenly, just before an index finger was pushed up my backside, another member of staff joined the scrum. A look of outright uncertainty on his face. ‘We don’t sell that water,’ he said somewhat sheepishly.

In fact ASDA didn’t sell any of the items in my bag... Which is why I had not used the till.

'Well..?' I waited.
‘Okay, you can leave,’ the ASDA security guard said.

In my conversion at the telephone with ASDA headquarters I enquired if the Deptford store was - in a largely ethnically mixed area? - being targeted by dark skinned shoplifters and that this was the reason why it was seemingly specifically profiling ethnic customers: based on nothing more than "race".

The call was quickly passed via Andy Clarke's executive staff back to the Deptford branch. Manager Kerry” gamely assured me that this was 'not the case'. But conceded that members of staff would have to be 'retrained'. She also offered 'a goodwill voucher'. 


Be that as it may or may not be.  Although I didn't realise it at the time I had become the oval ball in a game of retail rugby. A curve ball meant for ASDA's chief executive had been intercepted, and passed back to its local store manager as a customer complaint.  The manager then grounded the oval ball, then placed it between the posts, or kicked it over the crossbar, into the long grass - following which the opposing team, call them the All Blacks, had been presented with a free 'good will' voucher. I didn't know how much the goodwill voucher was for but I hadn't made plans to visit Jamaica. 

That evening an ASDA home delivery van stopped and blocked my driveway. I opened the door, waiting for my letter of apology, and possibly too a case of wine from my new bezzy mate Andy. But the driver commenced delivering the shopping to the neighbour across the road. He did not apologise for blocking the driveway. ASDA it seems never does.

Demand respect or expect defeat. Rugby talk and profiles of the CEO of ASDA go hand in hand. I decided to tackle Andy on his own ground. I fired off an email. Besides seeking a written apology I suspected that the guard was part of a recruitment process to specifically use ethnic thugs to target “effnik” shoppers; thereby nixing any cries of racial prejudice if ASDA then got it wrong. There is a feeling amongst some Londoners that this is a strategy followed by the Met police in a drive to counter any claims of racial prejudice... but ASDA? In Deptford? 'You're having a laugh.

So, the question I put directly to Andy Clarke from Grantham as he sat in his ivory tower: ‘Is ASDA (Deptford) profiling its customers based on the colour of their skin?’

TheBigRetort. Coming soon... All the President's Men (and women); respond.







02 October 2015

To go or not to go


Now that NASA has discovered water on Mars it is actually forbidden to land its craft and astronauts anywhere near it. Which rather defeats the object. What if you have a thirsty crew in search of life as we know it? Or in search of life as we don't?


Surely the rules will be bent enough to ensure that NASA boots may boldly go - yes go boldly -  where other boots have already gone before; right on the head of a little green Martian.


The Treaty on Principles Governing the Activities of States in the Exploration and Use of Outer Space, including the Moon and Other Celestial Bodies, was drafted in the late 1960s and signed by those nations interested in the preservation of celestial bodies via non-contamination. The Treaty declares:


"States shall avoid harmful contamination of space and celestial bodies."


So what is 'harmful' in this context that wasn't in any other. Think Mars rovers that have already driven across the not-so arid soil? Thereby ensuring that if  those waters contain life 'as we know it' an interplanetary war of words may have already begun back on Planet Earth.


To go boldly indeed.

16 March 2014

Flight MH370 Timeline

 




Saturday, March 08, 07:30 AM. MH370 ‘lost contact’ with Subang Air Traffic Control at 2.40am. The B777-200 aircraft departed Kuala Lumpur at 12.41am . It was expected to land in Beijing at 6.30am that same day. The flight was carrying 227 passengers (including 2 infants), and 12 crew members. Malaysia Airlines activated its Search and Rescue team to locate the aircraft. 


Saturday, March 08, 09:05AM MYT +0800 Malaysia Airlines issued its 2nd Media Statement following the above, it read in part:
 
The passengers were of 13 different nationalities. "Malaysia Airlines is currently working with the authorities who have activated their Search and Rescue team to locate the aircraft. Our team is currently calling the next-of-kin of passengers and crew. Focus of the airline is to work with the emergency responders and authorities and mobilize its full support."

Saturday, March 08, 10:30 AM MYT - 3rd Media Statement.
 
There was speculation that the aircraft had landed at Nanming. The passengers were of 14 different nationalities, one additional from the previous bulletin. These were:-
 
1. Chinese – 152, 1 infant

2. Malaysian - 38

3. Indonesian - 7

4. Australian - 6

5. French - 3

6. American – 3 plus 1 infant

7. New Zealander - 2

8. Ukrainian - 2

9. Canadian - 2

10. Russian - 1

11. Italian - 1

12. Indian - 5

13. Dutch - 1

14. Austrian - 1

15. Chinese Taipei - 1

The pilot was Captain Zaharie Ahmad Shah. A Malaysian, aged 53, he had a total flying hours of 18,365 hours. He joined Malaysia Airlines in 1981. First officer, Fariq Ab.Hamid, a Malaysian, aged 27, had a total flying hours of 2,763 hours. He joined Malaysia Airlines in 2007.  
 
On Saturday, March, MA issued an update at 2.30pm
 
“We are currently working with international authorities on the search and rescue mission and as at 1400 hours, 08 March 2014, we have no information on the location of the aircraft.” MH370, a Boeing 777-200 aircraft, was on a ‘code share’ with China Southern Airlines.

Saturday, March 08, 07:20 PM (MYT) - 5th Media Statement

[There is no 4th statement.]

Repeated the nationalities of the passengers.  The French nationals total increased to “4” from the previous “three”.

Sunday, March 09, 02:00 AM MYT - 6th Media Statement

After more than 24 hours since MH370 disappeared at 1.30am, the search and rescue team is yet to determine its whereabouts. An international search and rescue mission from Malaysia, Singapore and Vietnam was mobilized yesterday morning. It failed to find evidence of any wreckage.


Sunday, March 09, 02:43 PM MYT - 8th Media Statement
 
[Note. There is no “7th media statement”. Perhaps Malaysia Airlines withdrew it or made an error in the numbering system, eight being used instead of “7”. This also happened to the 4th statement.]
 
The need to provide regular updates is understood. MA primary focus is the families of the missing. Initial financial assistance has been given out to all families. Caregivers are already assigned to each family and they are trained staff and volunteers from Malaysia and Australia.” MA also arranging flights for these families.
 
Monday, March 10, 10:00 AM MYT - 9th Media Statement

Fort-eight hours since lost contact. Search and rescue teams from Australia, China, Thailand, Indonesia, Singapore, Vietnam, Philippines and USA. At least one caregiver is assigned to each family. These caregivers are well-trained staff and volunteers from Malaysia and other organisations. One hundred and fifty "Go Team" members consisting of senior management and caregivers at Beijing to attend to families. In Kuala Lumpur, a different group of caregivers are attending to the families’ needs. Families from other nations apart from China arriving at Kuala Lumpur since early yesterday. More are expected at this date. Malaysia Airlines working closely with the government of China to expedite the issuance of passports for the families as well as with the immigration for their visas into Malaysia.
 
Monday, March 10, 05:30 PM MYT - 10th Media Statement
 
The purpose of this statement is to update on emergency response activities at Malaysia Airlines. A few common queries from the media were also addressed. How did the passengers with the stolen passports purchase their tickets? Malaysia Airlines was unable to comment as this was a security issue.   
 
Tuesday, March 11, 11:15 AM MYT - 11th Media Statement
 
Day 4. Aircraft yet to be found. Search and rescue teams (SAR) have expanded the scope beyond the flight path to the West Peninsular of Malaysia at the Straits of Malacca. The authorities are looking at a possibility of an attempt made by MH370 to turn back to Subang. All angles looked at, with no possibilities ruled out. Assets deployed to cover the search and rescue said to be “extensive“. In total there are nine aircraft and 24 vessels deployed. Apart from the search in the sea, search on land in between these areas conducted. Search and rescue teams analysed debris and oil slick found in the waters. Did not belong to MH370. The craft underwent maintenance on 23 February 2014, 12 days before its final flight. The maintenance was conducted at the KLIA hangar and there were no issues on the health of the aircraft which had e recorded 53,465.21 hours with a total of 7525 cycles. All Malaysia Airlines aircraft are equipped with continuous data monitoring system called the Aircraft Communications Addressing and Reporting System (ACARS) which transmits data automatically. No distress calls and no information relayed. 

Tuesday, March 11, 05:29 PM MYT - 12th Media Statement

Statement in reference to the many queries on the alleged five passengers who checked-in but did not board MH370 from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing despite having valid tickets to travel. Malaysia Airlines clarifies that there were four passengers who had valid booking to travel, but did not show up to check-in for the flight. The issue of off-loading unaccompanied baggage did not arise. The claim that their bags travelled without them was untrue.

Tuesday, March 11, 11:30 PM MYT - 13th Media Statement

Malaysia Airlines concerned by the allegations made against First Officer, Fariq Ab Hamid, who is said to often invite women travellers onto the flight deck. “We are shocked by these allegations. We have not been able to confirm the validity of the pictures and videos of the alleged incident. As you are aware, we are in the midst of a crisis, and we do not want our attention to be diverted. We also urge the media and general public to respect the privacy of the families of our colleagues and passengers. It has been a difficult time for them. The welfare of both the crew and passenger’s families remain our focus. At the same time, the security and safety of our passengers is of the utmost importance to us.”

Wednesday, March 12, 01:00 PM MYT - 14th Media Statement

One hundred and fifteen family members in Kuala Lumpur taken care of by 72 different caregivers. At least one caregiver is assigned to each family together with a Mandarin translator for the families from China. Malaysia Airlines' primary focus at this point in time is to care for the families of the passengers and crew of MH370. All costs borne by Malaysia Airlines.

Wednesday, March 12, 11:30 PM MYT -- 15th Media Statement
 
A total of 94 caregivers including the Senior Management members of Malaysia Airlines were deployed to Beijing immediately. In the days that followed, an additional 18 caregivers were deployed. Regular briefings are conducted to update the families on current progress. During these briefings, the team also takes questions from the families to clear any doubt that they may have.
 
Thursday, March 13, 12:45 AM MYT - 16th Media Statement
 
Malaysia Airlines clarifies the claims that some families of the passengers were flown to India instead of Malaysia. Not true. MA flies directly from Beijing to Kuala Lumpur without a transit. There are also no Malaysia Airlines' direct flights from Hong Kong to Mumbai or any part of India.

Thursday, March 13, 11:10 AM MYT - 17th Media Statement

As a mark of respect to the passengers and crew of MH370 on 8 March 2014, the MH370 and MH371 flight codes retired from the Malaysia Airlines’ Kuala Lumpur- Beijing-Kuala Lumpur route. With effect from 14 March 2014, the new flight number to replace MH370 and MH371 will be:-

MH 318 – Kuala Lumpur - Beijing
MH 319 – Beijing - Kuala Lumpur

No changes to the frequency of the services. The company operates its daily services to Beijing.

Friday, March 14, 12:13 PM MYT - 18th Media Statement

Malaysia Airlines answers the “on-going media speculations”. Nothing further to add to the information already provided. Malaysia Airlines to continue to provide regular updates to the general public via the media and its website on all matters affecting MH370.

Saturday, March 15, 05:45 PM MYT - 19th Media Statement

MA confirms that MH370 ‘may have’ remained airborne for several hours after contact lost. Information gleaned from satellite signals alone used to identify the location of the missing commercial airliner. “This naturally took some time, during which we were unable to publicly confirm their existence,” MA stated. “We were well aware of the ongoing media speculation during this period, and its effect on the families of those on board. Their anguish and distress increases with each passing day, with each fresh rumour, and with each false or misleading media report. Our absolute priority at all times has been to support the authorities leading the multinational search for MH370, so that we can finally provide the answers which the families and the wider community are waiting for.”





 
 
 
 
 
 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



 
 
 



 
 

 

24 February 2014

Little white lie


THE car parking space at Intu Bromley shopping precinct was tight. As I pulled in the passenger side mirror to leave enough room for the other driver to exit, I scuffed the left front tyre of my car on the post base which protruded out. A silly design actually.

To exit I had to shuffle across to the passenger seat as the other car was too far over. But I made sure that the Hackney cab, which was not black due to the ad emblazoned across it, had enough room via its passenger side door.

My twelve-year-old daughter had an iPad and one of the speakers had been playing up for months. At the Apple Store the staff were incredible. A diagnostics confirmed that the speaker was faulty and not up to its high standards. Rather than send the iPad off to be repaired, which was my daughter's fear, Apple changed it for a brand new one.

We were delighted!

We stopped off at KFC for a snack, popped into HMV for a movie - Captain Phillips, starring Tom Hanks, and Waterstones for a book.

The driver must have returned to green cab. The space alongside mine was now free.

I initially took it for a parking ticket. Jammed under the windscreen wiper was some notepaper, hastily ripped off from a pad. It had uppercase blue-ink handwriting. Six words. One began with a single letter: "U".

'What's it say?' my daughter asked.

'Nothing. It's just a piece of paper blown on to the the car!'
A little white lie.

Perhaps I answered too harshly. Perhaps too evasive. Perhaps she saw a shocked or bemused expression on my tanned face.

She tried to snatch the note.

I snapped at her: 'Leave the bloody thing!'
I decided long ago that I would protect her. They were just words anyway. Quite familiar words though.

Why then the need to hide them from my child, why the little white lie?

I crumpled up the notepaper, placed it in my pocket, surveyed the parking area.

No one in sight.

My mind flashed back to when I was my daughter's age. 'Half caste!' 'Half... breed!' 'Nigger!'
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names...? Names did hurt. Is that what the persons who wrote those words meant to do? Or was it coincidence?

As I exited Intu Bromley, I wondered if the CCTV cameras might reveal the identity of the person who placed the note (pictured below) on my windscreen.

What do you mean, I would like to ask.






11 February 2014

Climate change?: history reveals the answer



It was reported in February 1945, that it was the wettest February since 1936. [Evening Telegraph - Saturday 17 March 1945.] In 1936 it was the wettest March ‘for 35 years’ in Scotland. [Evening Telegraph - Tuesday 31 March 1936.] Whilst records taken at the Meteorological Office at Kew recorded the wettest February since 1900. [Aberdeen Journal - Friday 02 March 1923.] The weather report for February 1900 recorded that it was 'the wettest in 25 years'. [Worcestershire Chronicle - Saturday 10 March 1900.]


Know where this is headed? If not read on...



In Bristol in 1876, William Denning recorded the wettest February - 2.874 inches of rain ‘in excess of the average‘ fell. [Birmingham Daily Post - Saturday 04 March 1876.]It comes as no surprise therefore, that, at Chelmsford in 1848 it was the wettest February for 20 years. [Chelmsford Chronicle - Friday 24 March 1848.] Not surprisingly, it was also the wettest in 20 years Manchester too. [Which may suggest that it was also wet in 1828 too.] In July 1819 it was remarked that July was the wettest month ‘upon average’. Usually it was December. Whilst in present-day England, the wettest months are seemingly followed by the longest droughts.


The effects of climate change it seems have always been with us.














02 January 2014

47 Ronin: Slow-motion success?

For some movie investors in the past the theatrical box office was the primary place to gain a healthy dollar's return on an investment. But does it really matter that Keanu Reeves’ new film 47 RONIN failed to put bums on seats in its opening weekend? TheBigRetort says: No. Because it's all about loyalty... and patience

A theatrical release is no longer the primary source of income for a new movie - the additional returns from which lasts for decades not weekends.

The opening weekend results are the predictors on which the ‘book value’ of the asset is judged. The returns to the original (primary) investors over a future finite period are predicted from this.

But the release weekend of a movie alone does not indicate its eventual losses - or gains, surely? - just the cash flow back into risky investor pockets in a small time frame.

For every dollar returned they apparently need to see 25% - plus! Which, let’s face it, is not a bad rate of return for anyone‘s dime.

The problem is when these risky investors place their bets in the tens of millions a quick rate of return becomes ever-more ’paramount’. For the rest it’s a slow rate of return over decades.

It is on patience then and customer loyalty that 47 Ronin will eventually be judged, and not by the expectation of the quick-return 25% plussers.

So, cheer up Keanu.

24 December 2013

Omega slow to admit error

We thought the ad makers at Omega were winding us up when we saw the recent ad for one of its watches in the Times online; which boasted, incorrectly:

“IN 1969 OMEGA DEFIED ZERO GRAVITY GOING TO THE MOON”

“IN 2013 OMEGA DEFIES MAGNETIC FILEDS (sic) ON EARTH”

Of course we know that Buz Aldrin did wear an Omega on the Moon. But what were the magnetic ‘fileds’ it was defying in 2013?

Erm, no such word seemed to exist in the English language?

Ooer!

We had this weird investigative tick in our heads: ‘fields‘ it said.

We contacted Omega via email to give its marketing department a quick ticking off, after all this was in The Times.

Unfortunately it was Christmas - and with little time on its hands, get it? - Omega didn't have a moment to spare in fielding a 'timely' response.

Enuff with the puns already!

Bet they must be going cuckoo in Switzerland.

10 December 2013

Harry Bensley - Man in the Iron Mask: Hoax

Since publishing my findings on Harry Bensley, the Man in the Iron Mask, many people have asked for proof that he did not do what he said he did. Bensley claimed that he had trekked around the world, wearing an iron mask, pushing a pram, and living off the postcards he sold in a daring 'wager' with the banker J P Morgan. But now, the proof... that he didn't. TheBigRetort
 

Tory donor's hidden history of racist banter: Unveiling Frank Hester's troubling racist mouth

In recent news, the spotlight has fallen on Conservative Party donor Frank Hester, with accusations of racism swirling around his rather b...