|Photo: Mark Harrison|
The United Kingdom is in tight lockdown. However, whilst the nation inches towards struggle street, are the Queen's ministers secretly being 'groomed' in the sacred salons of Westminster'?
Following the Covid-19 pandemic, Prime Minister Boris Johnson advised against all “non-essential” travel. The pub, the clubs, and even - God forbid - the hairdresser came under BoJo's it's a no-no 'thingy me bob'.
A week later the whole country was ordered into a lockdown described as so ‘hair' tight it even covered hairdressers.
It seemed to many that hairdressers should not have been placed out of bounds. If the country were to die from a thousand cuts economically... this was a cut too deep.
Yes there was anger. Confusion even... Why were some among the flock allowed to work and others not?
Nevertheless barbers were on "the list". And weary citizens, frightened out of their liberties, somewhat greying at the sides, surrendered freedoms and slavishly followed the pied-piping mantra: "STAY HOME" "PROTECT THE NHS" "SAVE LIVES"
Only not everyone did... Rule breakers were hassled by school monitors, in the form of thought police. Whilst others, nuanced in their phrasing, in that public-school way, were... "economical" with the, err, "truth".
TheBigRetort 'razors' concerns.
Why is it - after months of lockdown - that this cabal of the 'heads' of the UK government have a perfect short-back-and-sides? Whilst the PM remains his characteristically shambolic self.
The following list includes those ministers I suspect have been touched by the scissors... during lockdown.
The Rt Hon Matt Hancock MP
|23 March 2020: Lockdown begins.|
|15 May...nearly two months later? Borderline.|
|18 March 2020|
to a hair salon'? Note the neat sideburns.
|Nearly two months later, 7 May 2020|
|30 March 2020|
or travel 40 miles... for a haircut?
|Recent snap. Or should that be 'snip'?|
The Rt Hon Alok Sharma MP
One rule for them, another for us?
"I blame China."
[Donald J Trump, President of Trump Towers.]
A WORD OF WARNING FROM THE EDITOR. Whilst some may claim that the above represents proof that ministers have been breaking the law. After all they have regularly presented themselves on television and in the print media without a hair out of place. I'm not so sure. Trump-like, I'm just asking. It 's just a small sample with hair growth over only two months. Perhaps the ministers have been cutting their own hair. Perhaps they married hairdressers - who knows? I'm just asking.