The "support facade": a lizard enigma?

Leaks over Lewisham

In today's digital age, seeking assistance from companies and local authorities following complaints or issues has become a tedious endeavour. What was once a straightforward process has now evolved into a maze of automated responses, elusive chatbots, and dead-end "helplines".  Has the era of genuine customer support been replaced by the "Support Facade" enigma? TheBigRetort...

Have you ever found yourself trapped in a cycle of endless automated messages, nonsensical music, playing over and over ad infinitum, leading absolutely nowhere? 

Or perhaps you've experienced the frustration of being redirected from one department to another, only to end up back where you started? 

These are tell-tale signs of Support Facade in action. 

Support Facade, as we've named it, is the deceptive practice employed by Lewisham Council and those companies and individuals who feign assistance while secretly aiming to undermine your concern or claim. (See attached photo of the endless leaks above one Lewisham Council ceiling and note the deafening response from the council.) 

It's the illusion of support, crafted by crafty people to give the appearance of helpfulness without any genuine intention of resolving the issue at hand. Hopefully, wishfully, you will soon go away.

However, as we delve deeper into this modern phenomenon, we couldn't help notice the lack of direct communication channels for complaints or feedback. For gone are the days of easily accessible email addresses or direct phone numbers. Instead we have illusive assistance. 

In the case of Lewisham Council there is the obligatory 20-day response time to emails.  

Instead of resolution, we're met with generic holding responses and elusive and deceptive tactics by kicking the ball  - and with it the complainant - into the very long distance. 

Indeed, even AI now seems to have been trained in deflecting queries more than providing solutions. It is though still absolutely trumped by petty bureaucrats employing allusive assistance.

What can we do in the face of this facade? Awareness is the first step, surely. By recognising the signs of Support Facade, we can empower ourselves. By demanding genuine assistance from companies and ne’er-do-well councils using these sly tactics, we can prevail. Additionally, we can hold businesses and civil servants  accountable by sharing our experiences and shining a light on their deceptive lizard-like practices. (That's an appalling analogy. Lizards have rights too.)

To probe further light on this issue, we have created a potential list of snappy terms to describe mock support, please vote for your favourite:

• "Support Facade"
• "Deceptive Assistance"
• "Ostensible Aid"
• "Phantom Resolution"
• "Masked Support"
• "Illusive Assistance"
• "Pseudo Help"
• "Mock Support"
• "Sham Resolution"
• "Cloaked Assistance"

Have you encountered pseudo help in your interactions with companies, councils, or individuals? If so, which term resonates with you the most and why? 

Join the mock support conversation. Let's unveil the illusion together. After all, genuine support should never be just a facade for sham resolution by lizards.