Set dressers on the new Tom Cruise movie Valkyrie returning after a weekend off received a bit of a shock... the Nazis had disappeared from Berlin.
Valkyrie is centered around the attempted assassination of Adolph Hitler, with Cruise in the role of Claus von Stauffenberg, later executed for attempting to kill the Fuhrer with two suitcase bombs in 1944. [We're not giving anything away as this is based on a real events. Hitler dies in the end, and the 1000-year Reich perished after just 12 years.)
An insider informed the beleaguered set dressers that the images of the Third Reich had not been stolen but were ordered down 'by some one on high'.
Apparently a wedding reception had taken place over the weekend in a hotel opposite the set. Searching for a bit of lebensraum the bride and groom accompanied by their entourage (all Jews) ambled out on to the terrace to take in all the sights Berlin had to offer.
Nein! Nein! Nein!
Greeted by their worst nightmare they fled back inside.
But the question on every one's lips is who succeeded in getting rid of the mighty Third Reich where von Stauffenberg failed?
The Big Retort can reveal that it was none other than much-maligned Cruise, a person forbidden to pursue his own religion in Germany where Scientology is banned.
Ist nicht rightig.
24 October 2007
Exclusive: Tom Cruise
A devotion to forensic investigative journalism that has led to the exploration of a diverse range of subjects; exposing hidden truths and shedding light on crucial matters. These include…
BBC TV Documentary: "Ain’t No Black in the Union Jack – The Colour of Justice" – A deep dive into the racial dynamics of a nation.
Spotlight on Financial Institutions: Channel 4 News Exclusive Exposé on Banking Practices
Punch Magazine: "Unearthing the Scandal of the High Street Banks," "Open Secrets of the Queen’s Bank," "Zeno – Unravelling a 30-Year-Old Literary Mystery"
Personal Encounters: "Navigating the Crossfire – Insights from working with Michael Winner" pseudo film director and food critic,
Prominent Pre-features that saw the Rise of The Big Retort: The Times, The Telegraph, The Express, The Guardian, Sunday Business et al.
22 October 2007
Vanished: Psychic cop
TheBigRetort strange but true series continues with a chilling tale of child abduction.
It also reads as a bizarre prequel to the mysterious disappearance of Madeleine McCann, and reveals a father's startling sixth sense.
Not too long ago, somewhere in the UK, a schoolchild inexplicably vanished off the face of the earth. As in the Algarve case, the girl disappeared mysteriously, without trace, leaving police and public totally perplexed.
However, fortunately, this did not turn out to be a smoke-and-mirrors investigation -or a whodunit leading nowhere - because there was a single witness.
Police say that's all it takes.
A man out walking his dog recalled seeing a white van going up and down a lane. He told police that it was constantly retracing its steps, almost as if the driver was searching for something.
Or should that be someone?
Police did not have much to go on but they realised that they may have a potential serious child abduction on their hands.
Unlike police in the McCann case they moved swiftly, and following strict procedures laid down in abduction cases they placed a large cordon around the area - every white van leaving and entering the zone was stopped. It was that simple.
But it was also to no avail...
Sadly... nothing was found of the missing girl, and another tragedy at the hands of a monster looked likely.
And yet...
Call it "Strange"... Call it "Otherworldly".... Call it "Divine intervention"
But in this tale of bogey men and missing children there are also additional "howevers" and it is what followed these that so interested TheBigRetort.
A policeman stood waiting at a road block on the outskirts of town in a lonely country lane. He had grown bored with the task that had been set him, but he too had a daughter of his own and so he knew how he would feel if she went missing...however.
He waited patiently...
Suddenly a white van approached. The driver seemed pleasant enough and eager to assist. He dutifully obliged the policeman by opening the van's rear doors… it was full of goods the driver was in the process of delivering.
The copper apologised and told him to be on his way…
And there the mysterious disappearance may have ended. But there was something… "other". Something that the cop could not explain, even to himself - then, or now.
Was it a presentment? Telepathy? Or the driver's body language? Whatever... an eerie feeling came over the policeman and for some inexplicable reason he knew one thing was certain: he could not let the van leave.
'Just a second, sir. I'd just like to take another look. If I may!' he said. The driver hesitated as he was about to climb behind the wheel, it was not a question... And once again he traced around the van to the doors.
'Open them,' the cop ordered as the driver hesitated.
Inside the van all seemed in order.
Be that as it may... despite the normality something was inexplicably drawing the policeman's attention towards the floor of the van and try as he might he could not put his finger on what it was.
He pulled back a carpet in the van... He saw the little body of a girl in a wheel well. The child, wrapped in another carpet, was bound and gagged… and fortunately still alive.
Finally, eerily, the policeman realised why he had inexplicably wanted to search the van... she was his daughter.
It also reads as a bizarre prequel to the mysterious disappearance of Madeleine McCann, and reveals a father's startling sixth sense.
Not too long ago, somewhere in the UK, a schoolchild inexplicably vanished off the face of the earth. As in the Algarve case, the girl disappeared mysteriously, without trace, leaving police and public totally perplexed.
However, fortunately, this did not turn out to be a smoke-and-mirrors investigation -or a whodunit leading nowhere - because there was a single witness.
Police say that's all it takes.
A man out walking his dog recalled seeing a white van going up and down a lane. He told police that it was constantly retracing its steps, almost as if the driver was searching for something.
Or should that be someone?
Police did not have much to go on but they realised that they may have a potential serious child abduction on their hands.
Unlike police in the McCann case they moved swiftly, and following strict procedures laid down in abduction cases they placed a large cordon around the area - every white van leaving and entering the zone was stopped. It was that simple.
But it was also to no avail...
Sadly... nothing was found of the missing girl, and another tragedy at the hands of a monster looked likely.
And yet...
Call it "Strange"... Call it "Otherworldly".... Call it "Divine intervention"
But in this tale of bogey men and missing children there are also additional "howevers" and it is what followed these that so interested TheBigRetort.
A policeman stood waiting at a road block on the outskirts of town in a lonely country lane. He had grown bored with the task that had been set him, but he too had a daughter of his own and so he knew how he would feel if she went missing...however.
He waited patiently...
Suddenly a white van approached. The driver seemed pleasant enough and eager to assist. He dutifully obliged the policeman by opening the van's rear doors… it was full of goods the driver was in the process of delivering.
The copper apologised and told him to be on his way…
And there the mysterious disappearance may have ended. But there was something… "other". Something that the cop could not explain, even to himself - then, or now.
Was it a presentment? Telepathy? Or the driver's body language? Whatever... an eerie feeling came over the policeman and for some inexplicable reason he knew one thing was certain: he could not let the van leave.
'Just a second, sir. I'd just like to take another look. If I may!' he said. The driver hesitated as he was about to climb behind the wheel, it was not a question... And once again he traced around the van to the doors.
'Open them,' the cop ordered as the driver hesitated.
Inside the van all seemed in order.
Be that as it may... despite the normality something was inexplicably drawing the policeman's attention towards the floor of the van and try as he might he could not put his finger on what it was.
He pulled back a carpet in the van... He saw the little body of a girl in a wheel well. The child, wrapped in another carpet, was bound and gagged… and fortunately still alive.
Finally, eerily, the policeman realised why he had inexplicably wanted to search the van... she was his daughter.
A devotion to forensic investigative journalism that has led to the exploration of a diverse range of subjects; exposing hidden truths and shedding light on crucial matters. These include…
BBC TV Documentary: "Ain’t No Black in the Union Jack – The Colour of Justice" – A deep dive into the racial dynamics of a nation.
Spotlight on Financial Institutions: Channel 4 News Exclusive Exposé on Banking Practices
Punch Magazine: "Unearthing the Scandal of the High Street Banks," "Open Secrets of the Queen’s Bank," "Zeno – Unravelling a 30-Year-Old Literary Mystery"
Personal Encounters: "Navigating the Crossfire – Insights from working with Michael Winner" pseudo film director and food critic,
Prominent Pre-features that saw the Rise of The Big Retort: The Times, The Telegraph, The Express, The Guardian, Sunday Business et al.
13 October 2007
New law on selfish parking
A NEW LAW WHICH HAS LAIN UNDISCOVERED FOR YEARS CAN NOW BE USED AS THE LATEST TOOL IN THE FIGHT AGAINST SELFISH PARKING... thanks to TheBigRetort.
Many London drivers may not realise it but since September 2004 the London Local Authorities and Transport for London Act has enabled local authorities to issue Penalty Charge Notices (PCNs) to cars parked unlawfully across driveways.
TheBigRetort calls it SimplySelfishParking. And yes, as Bill said to Monica, it's a mouthful...
But the new law looks set to bring much-needed respite to beleaguered driveway 'barons'.
London based councils' also look set to expand their coffers by £££s with dropped kerb penalties (DKPs) as part of their stealth-tax portfolio$.
Be that as it may, when TheBigRetort found its driveway blocked, we quoted the law to the law - and those boys in blue serge didn't even realise it existed.
In fact, when TheBigRetort initially reported a naughty parker (NP) to the Yard an armed response unit failed to turn up, claiming that there were 'more important' crimes taking place in London. Apparently a blocked driveway is 'low on the list' of the Met's MOST WANTED - way below a blocked drain, which seemed a bit fishy to us - so we were forced to delve deeper.
So deep that we discovered a place called Australia and a little publicised change to the parking laws.
What TheBigRetort found looks set to change life in London as we know it.
In the words of the Met's Commissioner herself...
'Following on from information obtained from that leading investigative group TheBigRetort, Met officers reacted swiftly and decisively in bringing this unfortunate matter to a satisfactory conclusion. May I also take the opportunity in adding... my men do a difficult job under difficult circumstances.'
Who cares how the blurb reads... its £££s for the council, respite for us, and time out for selfish Johnny Rotten.
So be advised.... a yellow line is no longer needed in order to issue a Penalty Charge Notice to a vehicle parked unlawfully across a driveway.
And be further advised... The new law applies regardless of whether a car is blocked on or off it.
Action is only taken against vehicles parked across a driveway if the owner of the property requests it. This is done so that the owner's car, or one s/he allows to park across it, is not wrongly fined. So be nice to your neighbour with the driveway.
And the retort TheBigRetort recently received from its 'neighbour' when police contacted her for blocking our car on the driveway...? 'That was a very un-neighbourly thing to do!'
Like we said, simply selfish.
In fact old Sherlock of the Yard made certain Moriarty moved the offending carriage PDQ. And the perpetrator escaped without a fine this time.
Good god, Holmes, how does TheBigRetort do it!
Elementary, my dear Watson.
Many London drivers may not realise it but since September 2004 the London Local Authorities and Transport for London Act has enabled local authorities to issue Penalty Charge Notices (PCNs) to cars parked unlawfully across driveways.
TheBigRetort calls it SimplySelfishParking. And yes, as Bill said to Monica, it's a mouthful...
But the new law looks set to bring much-needed respite to beleaguered driveway 'barons'.
London based councils' also look set to expand their coffers by £££s with dropped kerb penalties (DKPs) as part of their stealth-tax portfolio$.
Be that as it may, when TheBigRetort found its driveway blocked, we quoted the law to the law - and those boys in blue serge didn't even realise it existed.
In fact, when TheBigRetort initially reported a naughty parker (NP) to the Yard an armed response unit failed to turn up, claiming that there were 'more important' crimes taking place in London. Apparently a blocked driveway is 'low on the list' of the Met's MOST WANTED - way below a blocked drain, which seemed a bit fishy to us - so we were forced to delve deeper.
So deep that we discovered a place called Australia and a little publicised change to the parking laws.
What TheBigRetort found looks set to change life in London as we know it.
In the words of the Met's Commissioner herself...
'Following on from information obtained from that leading investigative group TheBigRetort, Met officers reacted swiftly and decisively in bringing this unfortunate matter to a satisfactory conclusion. May I also take the opportunity in adding... my men do a difficult job under difficult circumstances.'
Who cares how the blurb reads... its £££s for the council, respite for us, and time out for selfish Johnny Rotten.
So be advised.... a yellow line is no longer needed in order to issue a Penalty Charge Notice to a vehicle parked unlawfully across a driveway.
And be further advised... The new law applies regardless of whether a car is blocked on or off it.
Action is only taken against vehicles parked across a driveway if the owner of the property requests it. This is done so that the owner's car, or one s/he allows to park across it, is not wrongly fined. So be nice to your neighbour with the driveway.
And the retort TheBigRetort recently received from its 'neighbour' when police contacted her for blocking our car on the driveway...? 'That was a very un-neighbourly thing to do!'
Like we said, simply selfish.
In fact old Sherlock of the Yard made certain Moriarty moved the offending carriage PDQ. And the perpetrator escaped without a fine this time.
Good god, Holmes, how does TheBigRetort do it!
Elementary, my dear Watson.
A devotion to forensic investigative journalism that has led to the exploration of a diverse range of subjects; exposing hidden truths and shedding light on crucial matters. These include…
BBC TV Documentary: "Ain’t No Black in the Union Jack – The Colour of Justice" – A deep dive into the racial dynamics of a nation.
Spotlight on Financial Institutions: Channel 4 News Exclusive Exposé on Banking Practices
Punch Magazine: "Unearthing the Scandal of the High Street Banks," "Open Secrets of the Queen’s Bank," "Zeno – Unravelling a 30-Year-Old Literary Mystery"
Personal Encounters: "Navigating the Crossfire – Insights from working with Michael Winner" pseudo film director and food critic,
Prominent Pre-features that saw the Rise of The Big Retort: The Times, The Telegraph, The Express, The Guardian, Sunday Business et al.
12 October 2007
Statin danger
WHEN A DOCTOR PRESCRIBED A CHOLESTORAL-LOWERING WONDERDRUG UNUSUAL MUSCLE STIFFNESS FOLLOWED... BE WARNED.
“Don't suppose we can put you down as Asian can we," he asked, pen hovering over medical report.
The doctor had a little box to tick... Statins damage Asians more than any other ethnic group. Fortunately, as a compilation of African-Cherokee-American-Irish-Welsh - and Englishman - TheBigRetort investigator did not have to fill in a box marked "mongrel". (He prefers "hybrid".)
“Only... there isn't a box for someone with your, err, ethnicity. Asians… well…they can only take half the dosage. I suppose it’s alright, isn’t it… ?” He was certainly convinced of our reporter's "ethnicity". 'I'll just put Asian shall I," the doctor ended Shipman-like.
"Err... Can I phone a friend?" was the only response to that.
Chronic aches and pains followed. Accompanied by numbness, weakness, confusion, fatigue, shortness of breath and other symptoms. But this unusual phenomenon did not end there...
Usually a happy-go-lucky chap around the office and home, the type of person who can roll with the punches, our reporter started to show signs of depression. Every little wrong – or at least what he percieved as wrong – seemed to take on a bigger and darker meaning. He reveals the feelings that were going through his tortured mind.
‘If only there was just a passing train then...' He did not need to finish the sentence.
In fact it was only after he conducted some of his own research that he discovered that he was part of a medical experiment headed towards an unknown destination.
Statins are dangerous.
Forget to do something this morning? Memory loss is also amongst the unusual side effects of Statin use.
Then there’s the nerve damage, the numbness - and other maladies too. Pancreatic rot, heart failure (which is strange given that Statins are prescribed to prevent it). And... be warned...aggression.
A devotion to forensic investigative journalism that has led to the exploration of a diverse range of subjects; exposing hidden truths and shedding light on crucial matters. These include…
BBC TV Documentary: "Ain’t No Black in the Union Jack – The Colour of Justice" – A deep dive into the racial dynamics of a nation.
Spotlight on Financial Institutions: Channel 4 News Exclusive Exposé on Banking Practices
Punch Magazine: "Unearthing the Scandal of the High Street Banks," "Open Secrets of the Queen’s Bank," "Zeno – Unravelling a 30-Year-Old Literary Mystery"
Personal Encounters: "Navigating the Crossfire – Insights from working with Michael Winner" pseudo film director and food critic,
Prominent Pre-features that saw the Rise of The Big Retort: The Times, The Telegraph, The Express, The Guardian, Sunday Business et al.
11 October 2007
Gore Blimey: An inconvenient truth
“We find that whole communities suddenly fix their minds upon one object, and go mad in its pursuit; that millions of people become simultaneously impressed with one delusion and run after it, till their attention is caught by some new folly more captivating than the first.”
In reading the history of nations these words of Charles Mackay, a former Victorian editor, were a preface to the 1852 edition of his book, EXTRAORDINARY POPULAR DELUSIONS AND THE MADNESS OF CROWDS
Amazingly written as far back as 1841, it revealed how easily the masses follow ‘moral epidemics’ and how ‘imitative and gregarious men’ truly are; the Crusades (1096–1291), Tulip Mania (1636–37), Witch Mania (1668-1676), the Mississippi Scheme (1717), the South-Sea Bubble (1720) - Scotsman Mackay concluded - were all delusions.
In fact Mackay’s “Extraordinary Delusions” might have become yet another weighty tome gathering dust on a shelf at the British Library, until we started turning its pages. The book is a clarion call for sanity.
And TheBigRetort can reveal this century’s current folly... is global warming.
A recent landmark ruling at the High Court in London has burst the carbon bubble. The question recently asked: is an award-winning film more shockumentary than documentary.
Yesterday Mr Justice Burton found that the "broadly accurate" film An Inconvenient Truth could be screened in schools – but only if it was accompanied by a disclaimer by the climate change denial fraternity.
The judgement followed criticism from Stewart Dimmock, a school governor in Kent. Dimmock, also a member of a political group called the New Party, accused the Government of "brainwashing" children. (He should have read Mackay’s book…)
Mr Justice Burton forensically examined claims in the documentary and identified nine significant errors. He found that the “apocalyptic vision” presented in the film was politically partisan and not an impartial analysis of the science of
climate change. In other words not true.
Far be it from us to place words of menial discord in a judge’s mouth, this is what he actually said: “It is built around the charismatic (sic) presence of the ex-Vice-President, Al Gore, whose crusade it now is to persuade the world of the dangers of climate change caused by global warming.”
Unlike his nemesis Moses who heard a voice emanating from a burning bush - (Hello) - Gore was on a mission for Good and not from God, as the most learned and honourable judge said: “It is now common ground that it is not simply a science film – although it is clear that it is based substantially on scientific research and opinion – but that it is a political film.”
Gore was manipulating the facts to suit the delusion gene. The claims that sea levels could rise by 20ft “in the near future” was dismissed as “distinctly alarmist”. Such a rise would take place “only after, and over” thousands of years. Another untruth found by a very learned man. (I have to say that just in case I end up at the High Court myself – again.)
Mr Justice Burton added: “The Armageddon scenario he predicts, insofar as it suggests that sea level rises of seven metres might occur in the immediate future, is not in line with the scientific consensus.” A truth uncovered by a man more accustomed to getting at it.
In addition, a claim that atolls in the Pacific had already been evacuated was supported by “no evidence” – and another untruth was found.
Two graphs showing carbon dioxide levels and temperatures over the last 650,000 years were an “exact fit”. Untrue... they overstated the case.
Mr Gore’s suggestion that the Gulf Stream would shut down was also found to be untrue.
The drying of Lake Chad – untrue. Likely to result from population increase and overgrazing, and regional climate variability.
Hurricane Katrina was also a result of manmade global warming – but again this was found to be untrue.
Polar bears drowning while searching for icy habitats melted by global warming – untrue. Surely not but yes - the only drowned polar bears were four that died following a storm.
Coral bleaching – untrue. (Okay the judge said “not proved” but in court speak that means What a pile of Codswallop.) Separating the direct impacts of climate change from other factors was difficult, his judgment concluded.
The judge said that the scientific community had been unable to find evidence that proved a direct link. However, to be fair, the claims in the film were fully backed up by the weight of science too. In particular, he agreed with the main thrust of Mr Gore’s arguments on climate change; but had a dispute in how the message was being given.
In fact whilst Gore has presented himself as the Moses of the global environment many ‘deniers’ - anyone who disagrees with the Gore lobby is a ‘climate change denier’ - have long suspected that he is using global warming for a repeat shot at the White House.
But will the London ruling dampen the Gore “carbon ability” as he runs for the presidency?
As Gore's international reputation has soared, so too has his use of jet travel.
Gore’s 20-room mansion in Nashville reportedly consumes more electricity in a month than the average American “crib” in a year.
And with a frame as big as Big Al’s you can be sure he lets rip every now and again – and - phew - what the heck, downwind, during the Primaries? (Shucks Mr President we wuz only joking.)
These contradictions by Gore have added as much to the debate as man has carbon in the atmosphere. (How much carbon dioxide is there on the planet anyway? 2%, which man is responsible for some 0.2%.)
The film has won plaudits from the environmental lobby, world leaders, and received an Oscar – the latter after Academy members made their way to Hollywood in their private jets.
Until yesterday, Gore, “Moses” who would have the world believe that this apocalypse is man-induced, stood as the head of a global brand of a pseudo-religious new-age movement, but now... who knows?
Is Gore floundering at the shores of credibility like a beached whale at New Brighton, or is the Nobel winner now presidential material?
When President Bush was asked whether he would watch An Inconvenient Truth he riposted, with the familiar wisdom of Solomon, “Doubt it".
Mackay may not have known it at the time, but could the President have let slip that he was aware of the discovery of a “folly gene” specifically dating back to that branch of a tree from which Adam took that first ignoble bite? Of course this delusional ‘first’ for knowledge was blamed on Eve, who in turn fingered the serpent, but there we go again, truth or folly?
It’s a rotten apple indeed that falls from the tree and feeds the madness of the crowds and our foibles and makes enemies of us all, I hear Justice Mackay say.
If the madness of the crowd is anything to go by one thing remains certain... mankind looks likely to repeat its errors time and time again, it’s encoded into our DNA.
In reading the history of nations these words of Charles Mackay, a former Victorian editor, were a preface to the 1852 edition of his book, EXTRAORDINARY POPULAR DELUSIONS AND THE MADNESS OF CROWDS
Amazingly written as far back as 1841, it revealed how easily the masses follow ‘moral epidemics’ and how ‘imitative and gregarious men’ truly are; the Crusades (1096–1291), Tulip Mania (1636–37), Witch Mania (1668-1676), the Mississippi Scheme (1717), the South-Sea Bubble (1720) - Scotsman Mackay concluded - were all delusions.
In fact Mackay’s “Extraordinary Delusions” might have become yet another weighty tome gathering dust on a shelf at the British Library, until we started turning its pages. The book is a clarion call for sanity.
And TheBigRetort can reveal this century’s current folly... is global warming.
A recent landmark ruling at the High Court in London has burst the carbon bubble. The question recently asked: is an award-winning film more shockumentary than documentary.
Yesterday Mr Justice Burton found that the "broadly accurate" film An Inconvenient Truth could be screened in schools – but only if it was accompanied by a disclaimer by the climate change denial fraternity.
The judgement followed criticism from Stewart Dimmock, a school governor in Kent. Dimmock, also a member of a political group called the New Party, accused the Government of "brainwashing" children. (He should have read Mackay’s book…)
Mr Justice Burton forensically examined claims in the documentary and identified nine significant errors. He found that the “apocalyptic vision” presented in the film was politically partisan and not an impartial analysis of the science of
climate change. In other words not true.
Far be it from us to place words of menial discord in a judge’s mouth, this is what he actually said: “It is built around the charismatic (sic) presence of the ex-Vice-President, Al Gore, whose crusade it now is to persuade the world of the dangers of climate change caused by global warming.”
Unlike his nemesis Moses who heard a voice emanating from a burning bush - (Hello) - Gore was on a mission for Good and not from God, as the most learned and honourable judge said: “It is now common ground that it is not simply a science film – although it is clear that it is based substantially on scientific research and opinion – but that it is a political film.”
Gore was manipulating the facts to suit the delusion gene. The claims that sea levels could rise by 20ft “in the near future” was dismissed as “distinctly alarmist”. Such a rise would take place “only after, and over” thousands of years. Another untruth found by a very learned man. (I have to say that just in case I end up at the High Court myself – again.)
Mr Justice Burton added: “The Armageddon scenario he predicts, insofar as it suggests that sea level rises of seven metres might occur in the immediate future, is not in line with the scientific consensus.” A truth uncovered by a man more accustomed to getting at it.
In addition, a claim that atolls in the Pacific had already been evacuated was supported by “no evidence” – and another untruth was found.
Two graphs showing carbon dioxide levels and temperatures over the last 650,000 years were an “exact fit”. Untrue... they overstated the case.
Mr Gore’s suggestion that the Gulf Stream would shut down was also found to be untrue.
The drying of Lake Chad – untrue. Likely to result from population increase and overgrazing, and regional climate variability.
Hurricane Katrina was also a result of manmade global warming – but again this was found to be untrue.
Polar bears drowning while searching for icy habitats melted by global warming – untrue. Surely not but yes - the only drowned polar bears were four that died following a storm.
Coral bleaching – untrue. (Okay the judge said “not proved” but in court speak that means What a pile of Codswallop.) Separating the direct impacts of climate change from other factors was difficult, his judgment concluded.
The judge said that the scientific community had been unable to find evidence that proved a direct link. However, to be fair, the claims in the film were fully backed up by the weight of science too. In particular, he agreed with the main thrust of Mr Gore’s arguments on climate change; but had a dispute in how the message was being given.
In fact whilst Gore has presented himself as the Moses of the global environment many ‘deniers’ - anyone who disagrees with the Gore lobby is a ‘climate change denier’ - have long suspected that he is using global warming for a repeat shot at the White House.
But will the London ruling dampen the Gore “carbon ability” as he runs for the presidency?
As Gore's international reputation has soared, so too has his use of jet travel.
Gore’s 20-room mansion in Nashville reportedly consumes more electricity in a month than the average American “crib” in a year.
And with a frame as big as Big Al’s you can be sure he lets rip every now and again – and - phew - what the heck, downwind, during the Primaries? (Shucks Mr President we wuz only joking.)
These contradictions by Gore have added as much to the debate as man has carbon in the atmosphere. (How much carbon dioxide is there on the planet anyway? 2%, which man is responsible for some 0.2%.)
The film has won plaudits from the environmental lobby, world leaders, and received an Oscar – the latter after Academy members made their way to Hollywood in their private jets.
Until yesterday, Gore, “Moses” who would have the world believe that this apocalypse is man-induced, stood as the head of a global brand of a pseudo-religious new-age movement, but now... who knows?
Is Gore floundering at the shores of credibility like a beached whale at New Brighton, or is the Nobel winner now presidential material?
When President Bush was asked whether he would watch An Inconvenient Truth he riposted, with the familiar wisdom of Solomon, “Doubt it".
Mackay may not have known it at the time, but could the President have let slip that he was aware of the discovery of a “folly gene” specifically dating back to that branch of a tree from which Adam took that first ignoble bite? Of course this delusional ‘first’ for knowledge was blamed on Eve, who in turn fingered the serpent, but there we go again, truth or folly?
It’s a rotten apple indeed that falls from the tree and feeds the madness of the crowds and our foibles and makes enemies of us all, I hear Justice Mackay say.
If the madness of the crowd is anything to go by one thing remains certain... mankind looks likely to repeat its errors time and time again, it’s encoded into our DNA.
A devotion to forensic investigative journalism that has led to the exploration of a diverse range of subjects; exposing hidden truths and shedding light on crucial matters. These include…
BBC TV Documentary: "Ain’t No Black in the Union Jack – The Colour of Justice" – A deep dive into the racial dynamics of a nation.
Spotlight on Financial Institutions: Channel 4 News Exclusive Exposé on Banking Practices
Punch Magazine: "Unearthing the Scandal of the High Street Banks," "Open Secrets of the Queen’s Bank," "Zeno – Unravelling a 30-Year-Old Literary Mystery"
Personal Encounters: "Navigating the Crossfire – Insights from working with Michael Winner" pseudo film director and food critic,
Prominent Pre-features that saw the Rise of The Big Retort: The Times, The Telegraph, The Express, The Guardian, Sunday Business et al.
05 October 2007
DIANA: Conspiracy revealed
EXT PARIS HOTEL…
Just past midnight, a grainy image captured on a security camera reveals Henri Paul, hotel security officer: He signals towards two men waiting on a scooter... later identified as paparazzi
Around the front of the hotel, other "ratz" (surely) and onlookers wait expectantly; not realising that around the back of the hotel a conspiracy is underway; Henri has been paid to tip someone off.
Million-franc shot with killer headlines:
"PRINCESS AND PLAYBOY RUN RITZ RATZ"
But the photo-first does not go to plan… and the headline becomes somewhat different.
The photograph of the backs of two heads do not make scandalous viewing, nor the shot of a bodyguard… and smiling accomplice “Henri”.
EXT PARIS STREET… the Ratz pursue the Mercedes.
Driver Henri is not affected by a couple of drinks. But then… his master in back is screaming faster! and the two Ratz (who will pay handsomely) are screaming slower!
Henri should follow his master’s command… Only there's dollar signs in his eyes. (Henri did have those “unexplained” moneys in bank accounts. And in the 8 months previous 40,000 francs in cash was paid into an account on five separate occasions.)
INTERIOR PONT D’ALMA TUNNEL… way past midnight.
Henri can’t go faster... Henri can’t go slower. Either will upset his paymasters. So what does Henri do?
He swerves to let the Ratz on the scooters overtake the car.
But what’s that ahead… too late.
Actually, not really... one Ratz gets that million-franc shot... it captures the dying moments of a people's princess.
THE END… ?
Just past midnight, a grainy image captured on a security camera reveals Henri Paul, hotel security officer: He signals towards two men waiting on a scooter... later identified as paparazzi
Around the front of the hotel, other "ratz" (surely) and onlookers wait expectantly; not realising that around the back of the hotel a conspiracy is underway; Henri has been paid to tip someone off.
Million-franc shot with killer headlines:
"PRINCESS AND PLAYBOY RUN RITZ RATZ"
But the photo-first does not go to plan… and the headline becomes somewhat different.
The photograph of the backs of two heads do not make scandalous viewing, nor the shot of a bodyguard… and smiling accomplice “Henri”.
EXT PARIS STREET… the Ratz pursue the Mercedes.
Driver Henri is not affected by a couple of drinks. But then… his master in back is screaming faster! and the two Ratz (who will pay handsomely) are screaming slower!
Henri should follow his master’s command… Only there's dollar signs in his eyes. (Henri did have those “unexplained” moneys in bank accounts. And in the 8 months previous 40,000 francs in cash was paid into an account on five separate occasions.)
INTERIOR PONT D’ALMA TUNNEL… way past midnight.
Henri can’t go faster... Henri can’t go slower. Either will upset his paymasters. So what does Henri do?
He swerves to let the Ratz on the scooters overtake the car.
But what’s that ahead… too late.
Actually, not really... one Ratz gets that million-franc shot... it captures the dying moments of a people's princess.
THE END… ?
A devotion to forensic investigative journalism that has led to the exploration of a diverse range of subjects; exposing hidden truths and shedding light on crucial matters. These include…
BBC TV Documentary: "Ain’t No Black in the Union Jack – The Colour of Justice" – A deep dive into the racial dynamics of a nation.
Spotlight on Financial Institutions: Channel 4 News Exclusive Exposé on Banking Practices
Punch Magazine: "Unearthing the Scandal of the High Street Banks," "Open Secrets of the Queen’s Bank," "Zeno – Unravelling a 30-Year-Old Literary Mystery"
Personal Encounters: "Navigating the Crossfire – Insights from working with Michael Winner" pseudo film director and food critic,
Prominent Pre-features that saw the Rise of The Big Retort: The Times, The Telegraph, The Express, The Guardian, Sunday Business et al.
28 September 2007
Go Go Go to NHS rehab Amy
Concerns for Amy Winehouse and other “rehab celebs” brings to mind the Priory Hospital and NHS treatment for stars.
I was first tipped off about the junkie-star-scam a number of years ago. All hush hush of course... It was a passing comment that held my interest. The Priory Hospital, where the former 'vet' held a senior position, apparently regularly played host to 'stars whose treatment was subsidised wholly or in part by the NHS'.
Stars on Soash..?
No. No. No.
A devotion to forensic investigative journalism that has led to the exploration of a diverse range of subjects; exposing hidden truths and shedding light on crucial matters. These include…
BBC TV Documentary: "Ain’t No Black in the Union Jack – The Colour of Justice" – A deep dive into the racial dynamics of a nation.
Spotlight on Financial Institutions: Channel 4 News Exclusive Exposé on Banking Practices
Punch Magazine: "Unearthing the Scandal of the High Street Banks," "Open Secrets of the Queen’s Bank," "Zeno – Unravelling a 30-Year-Old Literary Mystery"
Personal Encounters: "Navigating the Crossfire – Insights from working with Michael Winner" pseudo film director and food critic,
Prominent Pre-features that saw the Rise of The Big Retort: The Times, The Telegraph, The Express, The Guardian, Sunday Business et al.
27 September 2007
RMT Walkout: Dope test cheats?
TheBigRetort uncovers the real reason behind the 'disputes' involving tube and transport workers - and it makes 'sober' reading to passengers.
Travelling home on the North London Line (overground) one evening, I happened to fall into conversation with a fellow traveller who was party to a secret... a dope secret.
He had been watching a televised football match at a pub.
Arsenal -v- Letsgetsmashed. Notably with TfL tube staff (members of the RMT Union) fans in drunken attendance.
His 'best mate' worked on the Tube and had done so for many years....
My fellow traveller warned his friend about his and other tube workers' drinking and drug taking.
His mate, who had work the next day, chuckled... then revealed their strategy for cheating - call it what it is - the transport management's 'drink and dope test safety measures'.
He told TheBigRetort that many London Transport employees who got 'smashed' at these televised drink-an-drug fests then called for a walkout.
The culprits in the transport system? "The spot checks that take place in work to find 'em." [He meant drug or drink levels.] Or at least that is the way this little 'union' saw it.
The stranger's TfL/RMT Union mate claimed that drink-and-drunk-filled 'binges' during and following matches determined transport policy in London. "Not Government... Not passenger... But drink and drugs, 'at's what determines policy. If they didn't do the tests, we'd all happily turn out,' he is alleged to have confided.
On that particular night his drinking companions (TfL staff and RMT Union members)were either so drunk or drugged that a walkout or some other action would follow that night's game.
And it did.
It was so simple... Off duty workers who had drunk alcohol could not go into work the following day as they were still 'over the limit' and a test would reveal this - they are regularly tested. The off duty workers who had been taking illegal drugs that night would only test negative days after their intake. Only then could they return to work and defeat the dope test.
In short, it is drugs that determine whether the trains run or not in this the finest capital city in the world.
Don't believe me? Look at the Arsenal game on the 25th September.
And remember... you heard it at TheBigRetort.
A devotion to forensic investigative journalism that has led to the exploration of a diverse range of subjects; exposing hidden truths and shedding light on crucial matters. These include…
BBC TV Documentary: "Ain’t No Black in the Union Jack – The Colour of Justice" – A deep dive into the racial dynamics of a nation.
Spotlight on Financial Institutions: Channel 4 News Exclusive Exposé on Banking Practices
Punch Magazine: "Unearthing the Scandal of the High Street Banks," "Open Secrets of the Queen’s Bank," "Zeno – Unravelling a 30-Year-Old Literary Mystery"
Personal Encounters: "Navigating the Crossfire – Insights from working with Michael Winner" pseudo film director and food critic,
Prominent Pre-features that saw the Rise of The Big Retort: The Times, The Telegraph, The Express, The Guardian, Sunday Business et al.
26 September 2007
Dr Victoria Anyetei murder: man arrested
Kent Police have made an arrest following its investigation into the murder of DR Victoria Anyetei, 53.
Anyetei, a devout Christian, worked as a locum consultant paediatrician at St Thomas’ Hospital, London.
Her body was discovered by her 19-year-old son in her silver Toyota Avensis in Dartford, Kent, at 10.20am on the 14th August.
Anyetei, a devout Christian, worked as a locum consultant paediatrician at St Thomas’ Hospital, London.
Her body was discovered by her 19-year-old son in her silver Toyota Avensis in Dartford, Kent, at 10.20am on the 14th August.
A devotion to forensic investigative journalism that has led to the exploration of a diverse range of subjects; exposing hidden truths and shedding light on crucial matters. These include…
BBC TV Documentary: "Ain’t No Black in the Union Jack – The Colour of Justice" – A deep dive into the racial dynamics of a nation.
Spotlight on Financial Institutions: Channel 4 News Exclusive Exposé on Banking Practices
Punch Magazine: "Unearthing the Scandal of the High Street Banks," "Open Secrets of the Queen’s Bank," "Zeno – Unravelling a 30-Year-Old Literary Mystery"
Personal Encounters: "Navigating the Crossfire – Insights from working with Michael Winner" pseudo film director and food critic,
Prominent Pre-features that saw the Rise of The Big Retort: The Times, The Telegraph, The Express, The Guardian, Sunday Business et al.
25 September 2007
Is Superboy Superman?
Up! Up! And away!!
A piece of legal history written on planet Earth may set a precedent about the copyright ownership of a dead author's work.
Superboy was a “joint work” between Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster. However, fast forward to a world dominated by the dastardly legal profession. A chunk of rock has recently been thrown at the Man in Tights, not in the form of deadly Kryptonite... but the American copyright code; itself influenced by European copyright law... and there’s a first.
In 1948, in a previous suit between Jerry Siegel and DC (then called “Detective Comics Inc.”) it was found that Superboy was “separate and distinct” from Superman.
Siegel was found to be its “sole originator.”
The case was settled with DC paying the authors for the “sole and exclusive” rights.
Many believe the pair, who died in some poverty it is said, were ripped off. However, following the authors' deaths, a 1976 revision to the copyright laws allowed the Siegel family in 2002 to give a notice of termination of that agreement. Any grant of rights Jerry Siegel made in 1948 would be undone in 2004. However, DC filed a counterclaim and the present Superboy suit (no pun on earth intended) seeks a determination on this.
The 1948 ruling lacked the jurisdiction to determine copyright issues; purview of the federal courts; the court's then findings were deemed to be relevant to some of the copyright issues (most notably, whether Superboy was a work for hire).
Four issues now surround the Superboy copyright:
was the work “derivative”? (In other words, if it was based on Superman there is nothing copyrightable about it);
if any of the copyrightable material in Siegel’s Superboy submissions was in fact later published;
whether it was done as a “joint work” with Joe Shuster, whose rights to Superboy have since gone to DC; and
whether Siegel created Superboy as part of his work-for-hire agreement.
The Judge ruled that Siegel’s employment contract with DC – Superboy - was not a work-for-hire (commissioned), and so the claim rests on whether it is “sufficiently original” and, therefore, includes copyrightable material. Put simply, to what extent had the Superman character been fleshed out to form Superboy?
By the time Siegel submitted his Superboy material to Detective Comics he did so with all the character’s (new) traits and attributes as well as the character’s interaction with other (new) characters.
When co-writer Shuster, one of Superboy’s creators, died without an heir, DC became the de facto owner of his portion; which pitted the conglomerate against Jerry Siegal’s heirs for interest in the franchise.
Originally the copyright code only allowed rights to be held to the first legal date that a work ‘reconverts’ to its author. In Superboy’s case that date has passed... Now truth, justice, and the American way of doings things, look set to be challenged in Superboy versus Superbaddy.
But all things equal under the same sun – whatever its colour – the case centres around what legal Lex Luthors term "copyright reversion deadline”.
Imagine if you will.... a courtroom.
Imagine, if you will... a jury.
In fact, imagine further, if you will... a judge (usually black) and attorney (usually white after all this is Hollywood).
Jerry Siegel pitched an idea about the early life of Superman, the later (or should that be earlier?) Superboy. And here I must approach the bench... because the chicken and the egg of it is... which came first?"
Siegel made his original Superboy submission in late 1938, before Action Comics was a year old, later known as DC Inc, by then the planet Krypton had exploded and spread throughout a galaxy and...
Well, you know the rest.
But what you may not know is that many light years away, on planet Earth, an earthling author had established the early days of Superman as a boy, and the Kents, then unnamed, and a host of pre-characters good and bad later entering into the Superman comic books too. It's almost as if Superman had flown round the earth several times and whoosh!!! created a copyright paradox.
Siegal's work was not part of any “work for hire” agreement. In other words specifically commissioned by DC Inc. The Federal government allowed all contemporary contracts to be terminated on “end dates”. The Siegel family is exercising a legal right to terminate the contract at its end date. (Superman’s copyright enters the public domain at 2013, which may make this a fruitless task.)
The subject is not the man, but the boy; not Jerry but Clark, or Con-El, or Kale-El, or - bloody ‘el how confusing. Anyway, you know what American lawyers are like, Superboy v Superman is a modern day challenge to the whole concept of copyright and trademark, a ‘front running case’, and one that will change our concept of copy and our rights to it.
But this is not just about reversion rights right…?
In fact, the real question being posed in similar cases - across America! - is can someone own a trademark of something that they do not in fact own the copyright to?
Many see it as a “greed” on the side of the Siegal family versus the corporate greed of a major American conglomerate - DC Comics.
Whilst DC Inc claims the character was derived from an existing character - one that the creator signed the rights away to, his surviving family argues that Superboy, with all that alien teen angst, was totally unique, and that the author's ‘fleshing out’ of Superman, an existing character, was enough to make Superboy truly “original”.
But surely younger characters are simply extensions of the adult characters, my super hearing hears you say.
Not so... When Superman/Superboy were written 'back story’ was a new concept — and the “spin-offs” that followed a writer's ‘fleshing’ were unknown. (I always wrote a detailed back story to my characters at the BBC. Mostly this history never made it to the screen but acted as a character ‘bible’, a blueprint for the character's motivation. I should also mention at this point that I sued the BBC for copyright theft, and lost. Oops!)
Taking a man, and turning him into a boy in character terms was a radical idea back then. Jerry’s pitch allowed elements of his creation to be carried over into the later Superman comics (as did mine at the Beeb. So Superman’s character was a derivative of Jerry’s Superboy creation; and not a part of any character bible he was employed to write which did not exist... then. (An important point.I once wrote a whole monologue at the BBC for a series.... It ended up in another episode that I wasn’t paid or credited for!)
All the two super heroes had in common was that they were both extraterrestrial, wore a costume, shared a name, and went on to wear eyeglasses.
Many claim that the Siegal family is bringing the case through “pure greed”. If so, it is a greed that is matched by DC's; it has not surrendered the rights which formed the original legal agreement.
In addition, regardless of the 1976 revisions to copyright law, where would Superboy be without his S-emblem: if not just a red cloak flying across the vacuum of copyright ‘space’?
But space is not truly a vacuum a lawyer will argue. DC will still have the Superman trademarks. Won’t it?
Actually the Superman Trademark itself may also be subject to later legal challenge. Superboy is being used to actually settle the rights to Superman and the trademark itself; a front running case that will mold future copyright law and trademark ownership. The question now is whether Siegel’s Superboy and the lack of “young Superman” stories early in the character’s publication history of “Superman” may allow “Superboy” to be different enough, proving that even on Planet Krypton schizophrenia may be a problem, caused not by a red sun but by its legal profession.
Apparently the creators were put on a small stipend with paid health care until they died, out of “respect”. As one blogger Thomas Strand states (and here in my edited quote): “…the creators of Superman were literally in the poor house, living in poverty without health care, etc. Corporate America keeps raking in the money, and these guys who CREATED Superman get to die penniless. How is that fair? Finally the US copyright code is giving their families the legal ability to regain the copyrights and return them to the families that created Superman.”
In 2013 the Superman copyright will be transferred back to the families, whatever the eventual outcome, and Superman may not be available for anyone – and that’s a shame Mr Luthor
So, is it a bird? Is it a plane? No... essentially it's a lawsuit.
[Author’s note. I have attempted to deliver a potted history of the case, but due to the exigencies of time - spent with my young daughter mostly - I may not have done it justice. See Grumpy Old Fan, and Thomas Strand, mentioned above, for theirs and other specialist views linked.]
A devotion to forensic investigative journalism that has led to the exploration of a diverse range of subjects; exposing hidden truths and shedding light on crucial matters. These include…
BBC TV Documentary: "Ain’t No Black in the Union Jack – The Colour of Justice" – A deep dive into the racial dynamics of a nation.
Spotlight on Financial Institutions: Channel 4 News Exclusive Exposé on Banking Practices
Punch Magazine: "Unearthing the Scandal of the High Street Banks," "Open Secrets of the Queen’s Bank," "Zeno – Unravelling a 30-Year-Old Literary Mystery"
Personal Encounters: "Navigating the Crossfire – Insights from working with Michael Winner" pseudo film director and food critic,
Prominent Pre-features that saw the Rise of The Big Retort: The Times, The Telegraph, The Express, The Guardian, Sunday Business et al.
23 September 2007
Geox Sucks
By combining a microperforated rubber sole and a breathable waterproof membrane, the Geox system lets perforation go out through the sole keeping feet dry and healthy. At least that's what a certain shoe manufacturer claims.
So why whenever it rains does this poor 'soul' feel water seeping into his socks?
GEOX SUCKS WATER IN AND MINGLES WITH SWEAT.
So why whenever it rains does this poor 'soul' feel water seeping into his socks?
GEOX SUCKS WATER IN AND MINGLES WITH SWEAT.
A devotion to forensic investigative journalism that has led to the exploration of a diverse range of subjects; exposing hidden truths and shedding light on crucial matters. These include…
BBC TV Documentary: "Ain’t No Black in the Union Jack – The Colour of Justice" – A deep dive into the racial dynamics of a nation.
Spotlight on Financial Institutions: Channel 4 News Exclusive Exposé on Banking Practices
Punch Magazine: "Unearthing the Scandal of the High Street Banks," "Open Secrets of the Queen’s Bank," "Zeno – Unravelling a 30-Year-Old Literary Mystery"
Personal Encounters: "Navigating the Crossfire – Insights from working with Michael Winner" pseudo film director and food critic,
Prominent Pre-features that saw the Rise of The Big Retort: The Times, The Telegraph, The Express, The Guardian, Sunday Business et al.
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