04 March 2013

Harry Bensley: The Great Iron Mask Hoax

[Engraving, Copyright (c) Jim Westergard. Used with his kind permission.]


On the 1st January 1908, following a remarkable wager, a man wearing an iron mask set off on an astonishing 30,000 mile journey around the world - then disappeared. TheBigRetort... The Great Iron Mask Hoax

 
In previous posts I detailed the extraordinary saga of 33-year-old Harry Bensley, who accepted a bet made between an American philanthropist and an English nobleman: to push a pram around the world, with his face encased inside an iron mask, for a purse of $100,000.
Many sighting were recorded of "The Mask” at that time but then... he inexplicably vanished. TheBigRetort: where in the world did The Mask go?
 
Almost one year after the wager made between Harry Bensley aka The Man in the Iron Mask, a publication known as “ Answers” (December 19th, 1908, pi63) received a response to this same question; it has remained buried until now.



The respondent – who remained anonymous - had a very interesting tale to tell: hence the headline - "The Great Masked Man Hoax”. 


In response to the "Answers" editor about the disappearance of “Iron Mask” (Bensley), the anonymous writer, claimed he was the mask. It had all been a fabrication, Bensley had been due for release from prison and without any trade to his name he was worried about the future. However, on returning to his cell several library books and magazines had been delivered. One caught his attention: “The Mystery of the Iron Mask.”



Popularised by a number of writers down the ages – the original Man in the Iron Mask (it was actually made out of 'black velvet') followed a narrative that was woven out of a factual account of a prisoner in France.


Undergoing a fretful night in the confines of the prison, it was an iron mask that this supposed "anonymous" writer saw emerging from the shadows of a prison cell. It was all the inspiration Harry Bensley's fraudster and criminal needed. Harry wrote: "That night my thoughts kept reverting to the 'Man in the Iron Mask, ‘til, in idle fancy, I began to draw mental pictures of myself passing through life with an iron mask over my face." 


The hoax was born. Four years previous, Harry Bensley had been sentenced at the Old Bailey in London for a series of bogus claims and deceptions. Also known under the alias “Harry Barker”, the 29-year-old labourer had been collared in South Africa by Scotland Yard. He was  convicted of bigamy under the name “Henry Burrell” and had a number of illicit aliases. 

It was Harry Bensley who became the man in the iron mask.... and the writer of the response to the “Answers” publication.


He went on to explain... How I "Faked" the Wager
 
His two callings being fraud and deception, Harry Bensley, due for release from his prison cell, began to evolve a scheme of 'considerable profit' – and a mask was its 'chief feature'.
 
Harry spent the remaining prison term perfecting his plans. Writing the details 'over and over again' on a prison 'slate'; the terms of the wager; the conditions imposed; two wealthy philanthropists - one of whom he had never actually met, the American banker John Pierpont Morgan, and the other a not totally fabricated English 'nobleman' - were prison cell 'creations'. 



Released in November 1907, with a gratuity of 30 shillings - his 'sole worldly possession' - Harry set about commencing his fraud on the nation. It was a fraud that would last a century. Until he was unmasked here that is.


Harry purchased a large map of the British Isles 'and other trifles'.



At Clarkson's, a well-known costumiers. Harry inspected several masks of various origins. The one he wanted, a knight's helmet, was priced at more than he could afford and so he left it 'for the time'. Just hours out of prison, taking the train out to the country where his 'wife' was living, he made known the terms of the 'wager'. Gossip 'soon bruited'. One neighbour agreed to provide the perambulator - 'for a future consideration' - and so became an unwitting accomplice in the century-long deception.


He would not be alone...
 
Harry did not name the 'nobleman' who assisted in creating the hoax. He was apparently,  "German - a man of superior education, and evidently of some social standing," and they had done time together. It was to this ex con that Harry confided the truth. "To my surprise he offered to finance me, adding also his willingness to help me in any other way besides."
 
Unfortunately the German wanted a 'backhander' from time to time. 'A heavy tax on my takings' Harry later wrote. 


Nevertheless, Harry finally went home with the twenty-five-shilling iron mask and a moderate supply of pamphlets and postcards advertising 'the wager'.


The mask and pram were also inscribed with the details. Harry was pictured standing boldly wearing the iron mask with the pram and his young aide alongside. The latter an additional expense for which Harry had a ruse, a dodge ‘as ancient as Adam'.



By way of security Harry Bensley set about deceiving gullible young men who would assist in the Wager. These unsuspecting 'teenagers' - for a £5 fee - were offered a third of the eventual prize money: if they completed the terms of the Wager. Since Harry never intended completing such a trek, there would be no obligation to pay. On the other hand if this boy left Harry's service within six months of engagement, he would forfeit the fiver. A win-win for Harry.
 
Old Iron Mask also had to get married 'on the road somewhere' – without removing the mask. This did not stop Harry. "I already had a wife," he admitted. Harry had in fact been married in 1898. A bigamous marriage folowed that would see him sent to prison. It was this 'new wife' that done for Harry and it was she who secretly joined him at safe houses along the route of the wager.
 
The walking wager begins
 
It was the morning of the Wager. In London it was 'very foggy'. Harry had driven to the station in a taxi with his 'minder'. They had boarded the Charing Cross train without any attention. However, it was the decorated perambulator that attracted an 'eagle-eyed' stationmaster who asked the man in the iron mask if he had a ticket for it. Finally, it was only when the 'Mask' was halfway across the platform that Harry found himself in the midst of an excited mob.


"For a moment I felt horribly nervous.” However, instead of making a dash aboard his connecting train, Harry started selling his newly-minted postcards: "for all I was worth.” (The postcards listing the fictitious wager can still be found in second-hand shops or on Ebay.) Newspapers later reported that at approximately 10am a train which was carrying a man wearing an iron mask pulled into Charing Cross Station.  A representative from the Daily Mirror photographed the man in the iron mask and his young minder. The walk 'through the world' had commenced.
 
Flanked by enormous cheering crowds - Londoners literally threw money at masked Harry.  Down the Strand, on to Cheapside, over London Bridge, on towards Woolwich... by the time they stopped it was 9.30pm. Exhausted, they had not eaten since breakfast. They were very hungry.  Later, the Man in the Iron Mask, an ex-con, made an untimely appearance at Dartford Court. He stood charged with peddling postcards without a license. But when his lawyer explained the conditions of the bet - following hearty deliberations - the chairman of the court allowed the defendant, who then offered the alias “Henry Mason”, to remain masked. This was a first in British criminal law. Had the chairman ordered its removal the legend of the masked wager would have died at Dartford. Instead - “We are not anxious to know the (his real) name,” said the court chairman. 


The end is nigh

 
It had been ten long months since Harry Bensley commenced the iron mask deception. And yet, he had still not left English shores. Of course people were starting to ask questions as they could not remain gullible for so long, could they? In turth, if ever there was one for a man like Bensley, Harry was tired of being welcomed by lord mayors and a gullible admiring public.  A pram full of postcards. A punishing daily routine. A heavy metal helmet.  The fabricated wager  had now become Harry's Pentonville.


The deception was closing like a metal vice around Harrys head - literally.


Mobbed by crowds. In the sometimes excessive heat or cold of England. Having to sit through boring speech after boring speech by whatever dignitary was throwing dinner. Harrycould not eat or drink himself due to the helmet. The fictitious wager, sown out of a prison cell, had turned into a heavy burden for its creator and the iron mask had become the cross that Harry the deceiver bore for this his greatest swindle. Finally, after covering a distance of what he claimed was some 2,400 miles, the prisoner in the iron mask threw 'up' the sponge. "My eyes ached, and I suffered with racking pains in my head," Harry opined. It was at Wolverhampton that Iron Mask was finally no more and disappears from newspaper accounts about this time.  




Weeks later, Harry wrote in to the publication "Answers” (remaining anonymous of course): "In conclusion, I can assert without fear of contradiction that I have paid my way, and supported myself, my wife, and my assistant, and the horses and attendants I employed, entirely from the sale of my cards and pamphlets, and I have received nothing in the shape of charity from the first day of my itinerary."




Nothing but deception.... Harry Bensley never did make it around the world. He had never intended to leave these shores; not really. Neither was he ever arrested for this his greatest deception.  Could this be why the Great Masked Man Hoax remains unknown - even today? Or is there something else at play in the human psyche that causes fraudsters like Harry to seize upon it?


In the words of one writer, who was referring to the original famous prisoner in the black velvet mask: “If there is found in the history of a people a single point which is not quite clear, Dame Legend immediately takes a hand and furnishes an unending supply of material, from which coming generations manufacture romances which in most cases outlive and conquer the true stories. And there is probably no other case within the last thousand years which proves this adage as well as that of the 'Man in the Iron Mask'.”


Perhaps myths and legends are best left unchallenged.


Harry Bensley died in 1956. His postcards still bear witness to the faded memory of a con in rust-covered iron. And it is on this which the legend of the Mask sits.
 
[Copyright (c) TheBigRetort 2013. Please use (in part) with accreditation. For further see Answers to Correspondents on Every Subject under the sun. Title later shortened to “Answers”. The Great Masked Man Hoax, December 19th, 1908, pi63. British Library Reading Rooms.]

[Since writing about the above we have made some interesting contacts. Jim Westergard. Jim, a Canadian, has a quite unique series of drawings and wood engravings; one which features ‘Iron Mask’ (reproduced above, and with his kind permission) and other fascinating characters. Andrew Grumbridge for a song dedication. We are also grateful to the curiously titled “Dark Roasted Blend (Weird & Wonderful Things)” for its constant stream of visitors.  DRB was created by Avi Abrams, also a Canadian, in 2005, and boasts around 1 million visitors per month.]
 

27 February 2013

Billy Ray Harris: Homeless Candidate Urges, 'Go Green' for jobs


When homeless and jobless Billy Ray Harris recently returned a diamond engagement ring to its owner little did America realise here sat a wise old sage. TheBigRetort into a small part of his wisdom...

Over the Pond honesty has proven to be the best policy when Billy Ray Harris, living on the streets of Kansas City, begging bowl in hand, became the lucky new owner of a very expensive diamond ring; accidentally dropped by distraught real owner Sarah Darling.
 
Realising the mistake, jobless "Billy Ray" waited for her return.

He later reunited Sarah with her extremely expensive engagement ring.

As a result, Sarah and hubby-to-be set up a Facebook page for donations towards helping Billy Ray - and which has skyrocketed to over 100,000 dollars..
 
Back in 2010 however, "Billy Ray", living on the streets, gave an interview - here - stating to America: ‘Going green is a good idea’. It would - Billy Ray believed - 'create jobs'.
 
Fortunately Billy Ray now has enough money to get off the streets of Kansas City and follow that sparkling road back to work.
 
Proving that diamonds, unlike  jobs, are truly... forever

 

.



11 February 2013

Sir Steve Bullock , Lewisham A&E, and the Interims: Mayor finds legal funds


Sir Steve Brokebloke

Wadsofcash@Lewisham.con

At a point when the public purse is being squeezed ever-tighter, Lewisham Council’s Mayor sends out an urgent appeal: But could Sir Steve look any closer for the cash than his interims? TheBigRetort

Recently an appeal was dispatched to Lewisham residents from none other than Sir SteveBullock himself; to save the local hospital's A&E.
 
Since nicknamed by us “Sir Steve Brokebloke,” the Mayor of Lewisham claimed that the government and trust administrators did not have the power to downgrade the hospital following failings by its Trust elsewhere.
 
Apparently we ‘the people’ stand a good chance of winning a legal challenge to the (unlawful) decision so brutally carried out against Lewisham's A&E, and Sir Steve hopes to 'enable' us by making contributions to his Legal Challenge Fund.
 
But what if Mayor Bullock need look no further than his own council for the dosh? 
 
First though, the Wiki definition for interim is... 'a temp'...  Curious then is it not that that in October 2005, the former Director for Regeneration at Lewisham was replaced by one Malcolm Smith, then in a similar role at Newham Council. At that time it was stated that (Smith), 'will replace (the former executive) on an interim basis before a permanent appointment is made'. [Emphasis added.]
 
Yet it was  not until the following year, in 2006, sitting in secret session - without press or public oversight - that a panel of councillors and the Mayor himself decided, (i) that "no appointment be" made for a "full time" Executive Director for Regeneration; and (ii), that Smith, in receipt of a pension and redundancy package from Newham Council, and also employed at Portsmouth, be contracted. 
 
Lewisham then paid to a firm styled “Interea Consulting Limited” in respect of these services £240,000 - in 2010/11 alone.
 
The previous year £204,000 was paid out.
 
In 2008/09, £233,000 was coughed up; 2007/08, £189,000 landed at Mr Smith's feet; and 2006/07, £183,000 was 'doled' out. (Sans VAT and expenses of course.)  
 
The payments are by no means comprehensive; or for full time employment.
 

In just one month (March 2011) Interea Consulting Limited billed to Lewisham Council almost £44,000 in respect of Mr Smith’s services..? (VAT and expenses not included.)

 
Mr Smith did not work in a full time capacity for these payments, as stated above...

From his 2005 appointment, to the termination of his contract in October 2011, an 'interim' (see Wiki) he was actually also a director of Interea Consulting Limited - 50% of the shares of which were owned by his wife; described as a 'librarian' on Companies House files. 
 
We wrote to the Mayor about this cosy arrangement; in order that we could establish if Lewisham received best value for what is essentially taxayers' money.

The Mayor's response though was curious, and not what we expected at all...
 
Usually open and helpful in all matters Lewisham, 'Steve' did not feel able to assist - 'on this occasion'. 
 
Neither could the Mayor 'discuss publicly' what was said about individual candidates ‘whether appointed or not' to the post of Executive for Regeneration.
 
Individual candidates..? There was only one candidate: Malcolm John Smith.
 
Curiously too, despite evidence to the contrary, the Mayor also claimed that he was 'not present' when the decision was taken not to employ a full time executive for the role in regeneration.
 
MINUTES of the meeting of the APPOINTMENTS COMMITTEE... MONDAY, 17 JULY 2006 at 9.15 a.m.
 
Present
 
Councillor Morris (Chair); Councillor Michel (Vice-Chair); Councillors Alexander, Klier, Peake and the Mayor (Steve Bullock) [Emphasis added.]
 
APPOINTMENT OF EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FOR REGENERATION (Resolved: that no appointment be made.) [Emphasis added.]
 
The above decision by the Mayor and councillors added to the bills Lewisham would later receive in respect of this 'interim' position.
 
Given that Mr Smith by then appeared to be in the employ of the council, since 2005, the former Exec for Regeneration having moved on, the meeting to decide the role would also seem to be somewhat late in the day too.
 
Later minutes also record:
 
MINUTES of the meeting of the APPOINTMENTS COMMITTEE...WEDNESDAY 23 JULY 2008 at 1.30PM.
 
Present
 
Councillor Morris (Chair); Councillors Alexander, Klier, and Russell.
 
Apologies for absence were received from the Mayor, Sir Steve Bullock, and Councillor Michel. [Emphasis added.]
 
Also Present Councillor Best
 
Exclusion of the Press and Public
 
RESOLVED That under Section 100(A)(4) of the Local Government Act 1972, the press and public be excluded from the meeting for the following items of business on the grounds that they involve the likely disclosure of exempt information...
 
The following is a summary of the items considered in the closed part of the meeting: Appointment to the Role of Executive Director for Regeneration. [Emphasis added.]
 
Prior to arriving at the decisions shown above and following 'the Committee were briefed on the circumstances leading to the previous offers of, firstly, a three month contract and then a two year fixed term contract.' 

---------

"The Committee reviewed the operation of the contract over the last two years and carefully considered the options at their disposal concerning appointment to the post on a fixed term or permanent basis. The Committee asked for any increases in contract value to be kept in line with JNC awards.

"Having received the written views of the Vice-Chair and advice from the Head of Personnel & Development, the Committee concluded a renewal of the contract for a further two year period was in the best interests of the Council, but that this decision was taken on the basis of the circumstances of the case and was not a precedent to be used for other positions and gave no guarantee as to any future renewal.  [Emphasis added.]

 
"The above was resolved and the panel made the following recommendation:
 
That the contract of Malcolm Smith as Executive Director for Regeneration be renewed for a fixed term period of two years starting 1 October 2008 and that the Head of Personnel & Development negotiate the terms of the contract in line with the proposals contained in the report." 
 
Ignoring the fact that the above does not mention Interea Consulting Limited - anywhere -  and that the contract was to cease in October 2010 (why then was Mr Smith employed until October 2011?), the Mayor also informed us that no papers were retained by members of the panel monitoring the (secretive) selection process above: But why? 
 
And what were the 'written views' of the Vice Chair (Councillor Michel)?  

What too was the big secret requiring a closed session? Perhaps it was the vehicle by which the interim was to be paid... Interea. Perhaps?
 
Unfortunately we shall never know. 
 
To be fair to the Mayor, though rather forgetful, even though his shoulder has been touched by The Sword he is usually quite an open and amiable bloke - which is why he has this publication amongst his fan base - but this does not look at all transparent.
 
The minutes do record the Mayor’s presence; a presence that set the interim gravy train in motion; for a role that redefines the usual definition of 'temp'; and a role that ceased in October 2011 - after our probing - and a year after it was supposed to cease; following a secretive meeting which 'gave no guarantee as to any future renewal'...?
 
What is going on at Lewisham Council one may well ask.
 
Malcolm Smith it should be said has done nothing wrong; other than line his pockets from an available public purse, he was simply being paid huge sums for his remarkable efforts; and for which he was rewarded... handsomely. But an expertise that apparently saw no other challengers... in the whole of the United Kingdom? Why he is too described both as an ‘Interim’ and a 'local government officer’ may have staff at the Inland revenue scratching heads. 
 
But that aside… back to our proposal. The former interim’ Exec for Regen used to live in the borough of Lewisham. Should he or his family have needed it he would have had full use of Lewisham‘s A&E.  May TheBigRetort respectfully suggest therefore that Mayor Bullock forward his appeal letter to Dorset - where Mr Smith now resides. One never knows, a little contribution may be forthcoming.
 
Malcolm Smith, to give him his due, has been open about his directorship. However, the “interims” remaining at Lewisham, somewhat less prone to stepping out of the shadows, do not publish their associate directorships publicly: making a probe - shall we say - taxing? 

Such individuals negotiating contracts in the dark should be 'publicly outed'. 
 
The Mayor's attendance at the meeting to decide the future role itself is too worthy of further scrutiny. 

Meetings overseen by the Mayor and members of the various panels offering lucrative financial packages should take place - in public.
 
If payments to 'tax vehicles' owned by such fortunate individuals are available in Lewisham accounts and expenditure - why then the need for secret closed sessions to decide their merits?
 
The interim/consultant gravy train may yet get such "passengers” to make a contribution towards the Mayor’s Challenge - and help save Lewisham Hospital's A&E.
 
Failing that, readers should write to Sir Steve Brokebloke and demand that he halts such cosy contracts - and the secrecy surrounding them - so that he does not have to go cap-in-hand to a squeezed and increasingly vexed public.
 
Write to Mayor Bullock.

Enable Sir Steve.

Now, there's a challenge.
 
Coming soon in TheBigRetort.... THE GARDEN WALL, THE SCULPTOR, AND THE FORMER PLANNING OFFICER.



27 January 2013

Bravo: Brabantia, rubbishes other bins

TheBigRetort had a crisis recently when a catch on its kitchen rubbish bin broke. Following which we left a heavy knife sharpener on it so that it didn't spring open. But like Pandora's Box letting out a malodorous whiff, imagine our surprise when we placed a call to Brabantia and got... service

In fact, Brabantia displays a care-for-customer credentials that rubbishes many retailers. We were expecting the usual....blah, blah. Brabantia’s response: ‘’No problem. Our products are covered by a ten-year warranty."

Brabantia, a truly solid company, swiftly sent us a whole new lid - and did not charge for the postage.

But that aint the way its supposed to happen, Brabentia. You're supposed to give us the run around  - and then TheBigRetort investigates your bins, etc.

So if you need a retailer to put a lid on it, try Brabentia: simply solidly wonderful.







23 January 2013

Michael Winner shock revelation: He wasn't such a nice chap after all

 
Startling evidence has been uncovered that recently deceased Michael Winner may not have been such a nice chap after all. Shock! Horror! And a little chutzpah! What you are about to read may offend those who have held 'The Twat' in such high esteem TheBigRetort lifts the lid... A halo slips... Revealing the darker side of Michael Winner: whom we let... R.I.P himself.
 
www.Punch.co.uk Reproduced with kind permission of Punch Ltd. Copyright (c) Jon Paul Morgan
 

23 May 2012

The Hung Voter: a history of prisoners' rights



The Representation of the People Act 1969 introduced a specific provision that ‘convicted persons’ are legally incapable of voting during the time they spend in prison. But should prisoners want to claim the right to vote anyway? TheBigRetort takes a judicious step back.


The denial of prisoner voting rights in Great Britain dates back to the Forfeiture Act 1870. Linked to the notion of “civic death‟, the Act literally executed the human rights of the convicted. Now seen by some modern liberal thinkers as archaic and uncivilised, they argue that citizens who have erred should not have their human rights excoriated.
 
In the other camp sits the hard-leaning saints of humanity the Victorian ‘victim’ mindset; which also wants its pound of flesh, and some.

Prison to the VM represents punishment 'only'; among which is the loss of civil rights. Part and parcel of that denial of rights is the right to vote on how civilisation itself is governed. After all isn’t the right to vote really a privilege of citizenship - and does not that citizenship bring with it certain duties? Duties which the offender has failed to fulfil by his or her actions. Chief amongst these: thou must not do foul deeds. This is why the right to vote is denied the prisoner.

But perhaps we misunderstand why such rights were denied in the first place... so let's take a little gander.

In 1832, men who owned land valued at not less than a tenner were allowed to vote. But following the Act of 1870 at common law a convicted traitor and felon forfeited these lands; the denial of a prisoner’s right to vote, therefore, is really a hangover from landowners who faced what was a property denial punishment.
 
We now live in the 21st Century. But we have lost sight of how it came to pass that prisoners were denied the right to vote in the first place.
 
But as we move forward from the 19th century we should do so knowing that it was the loss of property rights and not the vote itself that denied the right to vote. No property no vote: simple.

If only that were truly so...

After the Criminal Law Act 1967 amended the 1870 Act, the Representation of the People Act 1969 introduced a specific provision: convicted persons whilst detained were legally incapable of voting - property or not.
 
This was later consolidated in the Representation of the People Act 1983. Whilst convicted prisoners (in custody) would not be entitled to vote, prisoners on remand were exempt from this electoral banishment.

The Representation of the People Act 1918 brought about changes to the general voter registration requirements and this further enshrined the loss of the right to vote for prisoners.

Even this action is misunderstood when it comes to the prisoner’s right to vote. Once registered, an elector remained on the roll almost indefinitely (unless they moved to a different place), as it was not annually revised. Under the 1918 Act however, new arrangements were put in place to revise the register twice a year following ‘house to house’ and other inquiries. Electors generally had to be able to prove six months residence - which they could not do if they were in prison.

The Act then enforced the denial of the prisoner’s right to vote simply due to the difficulty in recording such persons in prison; and something, incidentally, in a technological age, that we are now able to do. The denial of the right of the prisoner to vote is therefore largely misunderstood by government and the judgemental Victorian mindset electorate. It was the loss of home ownership status that denied the right and not the criminal act or punishment that followed.

But come to think of it: do prisoners really actually want the right to vote anyway? Given that a convicted persons address would be “care of HMP Wandsworth (or some other)” wouldn’t such an address be an indelible stain on a convicted person’s character - for all judgemental persons to see for good - or bad, as it happens? Any persons duly recorded would literally be placing themselves in the court of common gossip via the People’s PNC - for life.

No doubt ‘convict outing’ would infringe the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act and the Data protections Act. It would then lead to compensation claims by ex-offenders into the bargain.  Perhaps, the right to have X mark the spot at the polls even inside HMP is a first step, albeit to both offender and non-offender a very cautious one indeed.

04 January 2012

Harry Bensley: 'boy' accompanied Iron Mask - named






The year was 1908. A Remarkable Wager. A man wearing an iron mask... Pushing a pram full of postcard photographs... Must find a wife along the way... Visit three towns in each county of England... Make his way around the world visiting each country and city on the list... And it would take 6-8 years... But the person who did it would win the princely sum of $100,000 An astonishing tale…. IF TRUE.

Following our findings into Harry Bensley, the legend who trekked through Edwardian England in order to complete an 8-year trek around the world ‘for a wager‘, we now present the identity of the young man who accompanied ‘Iron Mask’ on his remarkable journey.

His name was... William German.

According to the Western Times article we uncovered (18 April 1908), it was it was four months after the commencement of the trek that William German of Holsworthy rendezvoused with a man wearing an iron mask. It states:

“Master Wm. German, the son of Mr and Mrs S German, of Trewyn, left Holsworthy this morning with a horse and a new set of harness on route for Barnstaple, to join the man with the iron mask, who has decided to have a living van (sic) accompany him, with Master German as driver. A large crowd of children assembled to see young German off, everyone wishing him good luck and a pleasant journey round the world.”

The plan was to walk around the world, pushing a perambulator, living off the sales of postcards which recorded the event.

Young William German joined Harry Bensley six months before his 17th birthday, it must have seemed like a daring adventure. How long he may have lasted on that 8-year trip before discovering it was a scam is currently unknown

Coming soon… the Harry Bensley Hoax Admission
 


20 December 2011

Ciroc Vodka, Next Model Sponsorship, and the Mystery Hedge Funder

We recently highlighted the ‘banker’ who splashed out £71,000 on a drinks binge at a top London nightclub in one single evening - and with just nine money-making wannabees. Now, in our follow up exclusive, TheBigRetort  uncaps the bottle. At the bottom of the glass we discover a 'sponsored' jolly for  a top model agency and a publicity stunt gone awry. Our report pours ice on a little-known drink someone has styled 'Methuselah'...

What do a bunch of party-going models and a drinks firm have in common?  Answer: A give-it-large hedge fund owner with more money than sense.


To recap... It took place just off Oxford Street. In a club called The Rose. You may recall that this is the place (if you've got no soul) that was recently promoted by its gloating owners as the wannabe hangout of the embarrassingly wealthy.

And boy do we mean e-m-b-a-r-r-a-s-s-i-n-g.

The Rose has a thorn after all...

It recently made the Evening Standard and the Daily Mail and other 'tabs' when it was claimed by its owners--strange uh?--that one wealthy patron, himself the owner of a hedge-fund firm, blew a small fortune on drinks for his young all-male staff -  a paltry £71K for ten, what a Scrooge!!

According to the club's owners, the man who caused all the fuss  wished to remain anonymous. (So why draw attention to yourself by throwing £50 notes around the club 'like confetti' then?) However, i
ronically, and somewhat contradictorily, the club's publicity-seeking owners appear not to have understood that the announcement would garner some negative publicity.

Various blogs commented on the 'disgusting' behaviour of the individual concerned.

A witch hunt was recommenced against yet another 'banker' drunk on his plunder. (But he wasn't a banker. He was the owner of a hedge fund firm.) Or so it was claimed... 

The Rose Club promoters also presented a copy of what they insist was the 'check';  presumably to firm up the story for the (unsuspecting?) reporter who filed it.

Remarkably it revealed that the waitress got extremely lucky that night.


She received a £10,000 tip!  

The club owners' claimed that ‘Margaux’ on the bill was not in fact 'a real name'. But since our last post (in which we outed waitress ‘Margaux Nina’) she has posted a copy of the bill confirming the tip. 

So that’s that then?

Well, not quite… don't forget the models.

Next Models London celebrated what was the end of 'an amazing year' with an "exclusive" party for its models, clients and friends at The Rose. 
According to its Facebook page, Next Models Management also reveals that the event at the Rose Club, which took place when the hedge funder was also there, was sponsored by... wait for it, “CIROC vodka.” 

But, what' oh what is this: £44,400 was charged to the hedge funder's bill for a drink recorded as  “Ciroc Methuselah“. A drink that we could not find listed anywhere else other than on the club's 'check'. Odd that.


So, why would an extremely rich hedge-fund owner, who wishes to remain (partly) anonymous, invite negative publicity by spending £44,400 for a drink that was sponsored--presumably gratis--by the drinks manufacturer?

Strange behaviour for a news-shy multi-millionaire who did not wish to be named?

Or was it we ask a publicity s-t-u-n-t.

If so, hoodwinking the unsuspecting public is not a very good way to develop trust around a brand.

COMING SOON... ANOTHER SHOT OF VODKA








19 December 2011

Man charged with lift fire murder

Jerome Isaac, 47, has been charged with murder and arson following the death of Deloris Gillespie, 73.

The victim was set alight after being sprayed with a flammable liquid when her lift stopped on the fifth floor of her apartment block.

The incident was captured on CCTV together with images of her attacker dressed as a pest controller who was seen entering the lift in Brooklyn, New York.

The video went white as the woman was set on fire.

Dorinda Thomas, 56, told the New York Post. "She was a wonderful lady, you understand."

Breaking News... Boris bus motorway breakdown

Following the much-publicised introduction of the new Routemaster bus, reports just in...  Boris Johnson’s new bus, named the “Son of Routemaster”, has broken down on a motorway just south of Luton.

The new Routemaster took the unscheduled stop leaving its driver looking forlorn.

The Routemaster, which has its hazard lights flashing, is flanked by police in a lay-by.

18 December 2011

Rose Club Big Tip Waitress Unmasked


In our last Retort, we reported on the City hedge fund banker who received national publicity when it was revealed that he blew £71,000 on a single night out for ten in a London nightclub. Added to the largess he left a tip for one lucky young lady... of £10,000. TheBigRetort exclusive...


Since we ‘outed’ the lucky 'Rose Club' waitress at our last retort the recipient of the windfall has now posted a photograph of the receipt - showing a tip made out to her to the value of ten thousand pounds. Yes - TEN THOUSAND!

Who's the lucky girl, then?

TheBigRetort can now reveal that she is none other than "Margaux Nina".

Or at least this is the name under which she currently Tweets. "Wooooooop ahahahaha !!! ;-) watch out…" Ms Nina wrote in one tweet following the enormous tip. She even thanks the London Evening Standard, presumably for reporting on the tip?

Woooooop ahahahaha indeed.

16 December 2011

Boris: Bus is in

The new alternative to the hated Bendy-Bus was seen on London streets today as LBC's Nick Ferrari, and former MP Michael Portillo put two very large bums on seats. 

Their verdict: a big thumbs up for Mayor Johnson's "Boris Bummer.".

The old Bendies never did find much popularity (except amongst fare dodgers) and if Ferrari and others are to be believed, the Boris Bummer is likely to bring in the punters due to its lighting and sleek glass design, which also manages to retain the heritage of the old much-loved Routemaster.

Will is be a success amongst the travelling public?

Fares ladies and gents, please.

14 December 2011

The Rose Club Tipper


When newspapers recently reported the largesse of a mysterious hedge fund manager who is said to have frequented a London club where he spent £71,000 on a single evening out - TheBigRetort couldn't resist querying the bill...

The Evening Standard, together with the Mail and various additional newspapers of note recently carried a feature on the 13th December that came in for a lot of scrutiny by we poor due to the amount of money that is said to have been spent, in a single evening, and by just one rich individual at a club styled 'The Rose'; and which (significantly) recently opened off Oxford Street.

On Thursday evening into the Friday morning the club is said to have played host to a big-spending banker and his cohorts - with more money than it seem sensitivity in what are arguably straightened times, for the many at least.

But is all as it seems in this remarkable story of riches to riches?

Apparently this right ‘banker’ (call him what you will) allegedly splashed out that night  like there were no tomorrows, or even mornings after for that matter. The Bachanalian soiree he threw for his grateful staff is said to have included a £10,000 tip to a lucky waitress, apparently hiding behind the nome de bottle “Margaux“. (More on which later.)

But readers can rest safe in the knowledge that this may be nothing more than a marketing campaign, a fiction, a leg-pull - with the sole aim of promoting what is ostensibly a new venue: The Rose Club.

In fact the questions the mainstream press should have asked--do they ever--is what was the name of this big spender, the real name of the lucky waitress who served this party, and why certain things on the bill do not, how shall we put it, tally? For instance, the receipt records a cover charge for ‘fifteen‘ guests and not ten. (Perhaps the group had additional ‘friends’ and the hedge funder and his team did not want their presence known. I wonder why?)

The Rose Club was founded by entrepreneurs Piers Adams and Nick House, who are no strangers to courting publicity for their various ventures surely. However, if the claim of a big-spending banker is to be believed, and it has been accepted as Gospel by many, the pair prove themselves to be maestros of publicity when it comes to new club openings.

Be that as it may....

Messieurs House and Adams claim the following was spent by the hedge fund individual that they did not name, and amongst his (just) nine guests (fifteen on the cover charge sittings note):

£44,400.00 on Ciroc Methuselah, Dom Perignon Rose Magnum £7,2000.00, Wahiki Coconut £1,120.00. Together with additional items and service charge £7,965.60 and a £10k tip to waitress ‘Marguax) (Apparently not her real name) the grand total was £71,000.60. Or the price of a garage in some parts of London.

But don’t be resentful…

A little birdy informs that this bill will fall under the scrutiny of Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs because it contains the VAT number 107717911.

This number is registered to a company styled BLAYSET LTD and which was incorporated in December 2010. Blayset is yet to file accounts and the nature of its business is not supplied, but when it is HMRC would expect to see it ticking over quite nicely.

According to HMRC, the club, or Blayset, would have to register for VAT if its taxable sales were likely to be above the current VAT threshold. At the prices charged and achieved at the club this seems likely. The company will then have to apply VAT at the standard rate of 20% on the items it sells - such as food and drink - and the services it provides - this is known as 'output tax'. The company would then be able to reclaim any VAT it pays on purchases such as Dom Perignon - this is known as 'input tax'.”

The club’s owners will have to therefore send off to HMRC the difference between:

all the output tax it has charged
all the input tax is has paid on purchases

And the interest doesn’t end there...

What about tips? Well, that brings us to the elusive "Margaux".  The Inland Revenue takes a keen interest in tips, nevermore so than in a venue where high rollers drop fifty pound notes like confetti. The Tax Man is waiting to wash his boots in bubbly and will seek his cut from ‘service charge‘ (a tip or gratuity surely) and Marguax‘s £10k windfall, sadly.

According to Twitter, “Margaux” is actually the name of a waitress at the club. Remarkably though she makes no mention of such a thrifty group at the club that night, or the £10,000 tip the “Margaux“ on the receipt is said to have received.

In one Tweet she distances herself from the owners' claim by posting:
"Love my life , love my job, love my BF !!! What else ?? Nothing !! Amazing !! Hapiness (sic) thank (sic) to @TheRoseClub."

Nothing? Perhaps she is right.

[News just in... this was the same night as the Next Models' Christmas Party. See..http://blog.nextmodels.com/?p=4710]


06 December 2011

Kepler 22b renamed: "Keptoo-toobe"




The recent discovery by astronomers of an extra-solar planet designated Kepler 22b comes just one year after a treasure trove of stars was unveiled by the space telescope Kepler at NASA.

“This is the biggest release of candidate planets that has ever happened,” said scientist William Borucki at that time.

NASA expected only 50% of these so-called alien candidates to actually turn out to be real planets.

Kepler 22b, almost two and a half times the size of the Earth, has not only been confirmed as a real planet after moving through its third rotation around its parent star, it is also the most interesting, the crown jewel of planet hunting.

”Fortune smiled upon us with the detection of this planet," declared NASA scientist Dr Borucki. "The first transit was captured just three days after we declared the spacecraft operationally ready. We witnessed the defining third transit over the 2010 holiday season.”

But why was this the most ‘phenomenal discovery in the course of human history’ - ever - kept from the world for 18 months? 

Did the Vatican have something to do with it?

Will world religions fall?

After all the newly discovered Earth has been around long before God uttered the words that his chosen species would record in a book and pass down through the millenia: 'Let There Be Light.’

So that would have the Church in a right flap, right? 


The Kepler team came under fire by others in the science community last year for keeping 400 candidate exoplanets to themselves for later confirmation by other telescopes used by the same team. To confirm a ‘candidate’ three transit observations were required of the target star.

But if this was the ‘defining’ third transit, why was its discovery only mentioned… now?

Could the “2010” third transit be a reporting error? Or could there be another reason why NASA was slow to reveal to the world that this new world had been discovered?

That said, it would be very interesting to see a maths wiz work out the date of the first sighting, and the date of the second, which would give us the exact date of the ‘third event’.

So what has NASA been doing since that date?

NASA was stumped for a new name having tried a number of them - ’Earth Two‘ - nah. ’Vulcan’ - forget it! 'Borucki?' -  y’know the way it goes at NASA it's all up in the air…
And that is the reason why we have rushed to name the planet Keptoo-toobe.

Get it?'

 

 



05 December 2011

People Before Profit

George Hallam, an economist at Greenwich University, has been nominated as the London People Before Profit candidate in the forthcoming bye-election in Feltham and Heston. But can he do it?

The challenge by Mr Hallam follows the death of MP Alan Keen (Labour), who passed away this November aged seventy-three. Mr Keen had been ill with cancer for some time.

The London People Before Profit movement grew out of what was the former Lewisham People Before Profit (LPBP).

People Before Profit was set up, not by politicians, but by community campaigners in South London who were angry about Government and political leaders who simply put the interests of Big Business before community need.

The London People Before Profit Party brings together a broad group of people of varying political backgrounds who are united under one banner, the People‘s banner: Community Need Before Private Greed.

Such was the rush to meet the qualifying deadline for the bye-election that the London People Before Profit emblem was overlooked and so will not appear on the ballot paper.

However, as London People Before Profit spreads its message across the London boroughs, the choice of Hallam as its candidate looks set to cause election upset.

At Feltham and Heston, George Hallam will represent the only political party to support the 2 million public-sector workers on strike this week.

Simply known as ‘the candidate from nowhere’ Hallam is now gaining much ground, aided with the backing of local union branches and, due to a lack of coverage by the national media, via public engagement on blogs, Twitter and Email, together with Facebook. The message is clear: Hallam is the people’s choice.

But can George do it?

The bold move by Lewisham People Before Profit gives some Hounslow voters the chance to choose a candidate for London who may soon answer that question.

28 October 2011

Vincent Tabak: pornographic films featured women being choked.

Vincent Tabak may have graduated from 'observer to perpetrator' after watching pornographic films, before going on to strangle Jo Yeates, 'for his own sexual gratification' detectives have claimed.

The six-man and six-women jury in Joanna Yeates murder trial had been deliberating for thirteen hours and 36 minutes, before returning to Court One at Bristol Crown Court and finding the defendant, Vincent Tabak, guilty of murder.

As the verdict was delivered, Tabak immediately sat down and put his head in his hands.

Mr Justice Field began sentencing by telling the jury: "I think there was a sexual element to this killing."

Tabak is said to have held a collection of pornographic films featuring women being choked.

Contrary to his image as a devoted boyfriend, it can also be revealed that he sought out the company of prostitutes while on business trips to Newcastle and Los Angeles.

The judge lifted an order banning publication after the 10-2 guilty verdict.



Members of the Yeates family were in court to hear the verdict but showed little emotion.

Yeates's boyfriend, Greg Reardon, maintained his composure.

















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