Vincent Tabak: pornographic films featured women being choked.

Vincent Tabak may have graduated from 'observer to perpetrator' after watching pornographic films, before going on to strangle Jo Yeates, 'for his own sexual gratification' detectives have claimed.

The six-man and six-women jury in Joanna Yeates murder trial had been deliberating for thirteen hours and 36 minutes, before returning to Court One at Bristol Crown Court and finding the defendant, Vincent Tabak, guilty of murder.

As the verdict was delivered, Tabak immediately sat down and put his head in his hands.

Mr Justice Field began sentencing by telling the jury: "I think there was a sexual element to this killing."

Tabak is said to have held a collection of pornographic films featuring women being choked.

Contrary to his image as a devoted boyfriend, it can also be revealed that he sought out the company of prostitutes while on business trips to Newcastle and Los Angeles.

The judge lifted an order banning publication after the 10-2 guilty verdict.



Members of the Yeates family were in court to hear the verdict but showed little emotion.

Yeates's boyfriend, Greg Reardon, maintained his composure.

Linda Ann Weston: Abductor escaped prison

TheBigRetort: ringleader of a gang who kept mentally disabled people in cellar escaped jail term.

Linda Ann Weston, 51, was convicted in 1983 for keeping a man in a closet and starving him to death.

Although found guilty in the 1983 abduction and murder, Weston did not serve time in prison.

Venus Weston, younger sister of Linda, was sentenced to six to 12 years in prison. Linda the elder was ruled ‘incompetent to stand’. Even though the plot was originally hers.


A fact not picked up by the American media who continue to report: 'It is not known how long she served in prison.'

TheBigRetort exclusive....

Linda Ann Weston shock: escaped prison first time round

Police in Philadelphia recently discovered four abused and vulnerable adults shackled together in a dank cellar where they were being held captive, with dogs for cell mates. Officers also discovered a teenage girl. Three people have been arrested. It has been widely claimed that one of the captors, Linda Ann Weston, 51, served time in prison for a similar crime. TheBigRetort… but she didn’t.

In November 1981, Bernado Ramos was reported missing by his mother.

His body was found in a closet two weeks later.

Linda Weston, 23, and Venus Weston, 21 his lover, were later charged and convicted with his captivity and murder.

Apparently Bernado had been the father of Venus’s child but refused to support it. It was his last mistake.

The Weston sisters had beat him with a broomstick and eventually starved him to death in the cupboard.

A remarkably similar modus operandi when compared with the current charges.

However, Linda Weston, now charged with abduction and enslavement in the more recent case, is said to have done time in 1983 for murder and imprisonment.

In fact, in one paper it was stated, “Before Philadelphia police found Linda Ann Weston with four disabled adults chained in her apartment cellar, before those same adults lived with her at a home in West Palm Beach, the 51-year-old woman had already done time for another horror in her closet: the death-by-starvation of her sister's lover.”

But Linda Weston did not ‘do time’ for the murder of Bernado Ramos: her sister did.

Venus Weston, the younger sister of Linda, was sentenced to six to 12 years in prison. Linda the elder was ruled ‘incompetent to stand’. Even though the plot was originally hers.

(See Herald Journal, October 18, 1983 for further reading.)

Edgington: Mental health unit linked to previous double slaying

Edgington knife attack linked to previous double slaying at New Cross. TheBigRetort… exclusive.

An urgent probe by the NHS may wish to focus on the mental health unit where a knife attacker sought refuge, prior to going on a rampage that left one woman dead and another seriously injured.

The patient, Nicola Edgington, 31, was from the same mental health unit where a previous patient also went on to commit a frenzied knife attack that left two foreign students dead.

TheBigRetort previously revealed that Edgington had been ordered by a judge to be detained indefinitely under the Mental Health Act after stabbing her mother to death in 2005 - but was conditionally discharged in 2009.

The 31-year-old recently admitted herself into Oxleas House in Woolwich, and fled the unit prior to her second and third attacks. Although a warning was put out by the unit to police, Edgington went on to stab one person to death and seriously injure another.

The probe might scrutinse the treatment offered to patients by the Oxleas unit and the conduct of its doctors because... it has happened before.

In 2008, Nigel Farmer appeared at the Old Bailey and was convicted, along with associate Dano Sonnex, of murdering students Laurent Bonomo and Gabriel Ferez at a flat in Sterling Gardens, New Cross.

Farmer was a patient at the Oxleas Foundation Trust. He signed himself out of the unit a few weeks prior to committing his frenzied knife attack on Bonomo and Ferez. Mr Bonomo was stabbed 196 times, including almost 100 times in the back after he was already dead. Close friend Gabriel Ferez, also 23, suffered 47 stab wounds and "bore the burnt of the fire".

A spokesman for Oxleas NHS Foundation Trust confirmed that Edgington was a patient and that British health officials were conducting an investigation.

TheBigRetort can reveal that Oxleas Trust has failed to confirm if a link may have also existed between either patient. Or if any other related cases exist following admittance to the unit.

Sally Hodkin: who is responsible, patient or state?

Sally Hodkin was on her way to work on Monday morning when she was murdered in a busy shopping street in south east London. Her assailant (pictured) is unable to appear in court due to "extreme" mental health problems. So who is really responsible for the death of Sally Hodkin?

TheBigRetort...

Sally Hodkin's assailant is Nicola Edgington, 31, of Ambedkar House, Flavell Mews, Greenwich, south east London. Edgington also attempted to murder 23-year-old Kerry Clark, who was attacked with a knife as she waited at a bus stop. However TheBigRetort can reveal that Nicola Edgington is unlikely to stand in a courtroom charged with the murder - ever. Because she has already been deemed in the past not guilty of murder due to diminished responsibility.

The recent attacks by Nicola Edgington were forewarned - and could have been prevented. In 2006, Edgington, then aged 26, admitted stabbing her mother to death in a frenzied attack. She struck on the eve of what was supposed to be a happy family reunion.
.
At her 60-year-old mother's home Marion had lived in fear of her own daughte. She had cut her out of her will. She was worried about her mental state.  A regular churchgoer, Marion chillingly predicted her own death - at the hands of her "wayward" daughter. Just days before being killed by Nicola  her mother wrote to social services stating: "She is the most unstable I have ever known her to be and for the longest period too."

Nicola Edgington was apparently angry at having a child taken into care. On the night of the killing she had been to a pub with her brother but had been thrown out because of her bizarre behaviour; which included doing karate chops and punches. Her brother noticed she had a notebook in which she had scribbled the names Bin Laden, George Bush and Reggie Kray. The court also heard that she had an obsession with a cousin who had also stabbed someone to death.

Once inside her mother's cottage in rural Forest Row, East Sussex, she attacked her with a knife. She stabbed Mrs Edgington nine times and left her body on the fold-up bed she slept in, with the bloodied knife lying on her chest.

Edgington, a schizophrenic, admitted manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility at Lewes Crown Court. She was ordered to be detained ‘indefinitely‘.

She was not... Yet again we see another person in need of care... in the community... one of a growing band of 'crazed' individuals who emerge on the streets - usually in the south east London region - and who  now looks set to be taken off the streets and out of the courts 'indefinitely': which is convenient for social services.

Nicola Edgington may have wielded the knife: but it is the state that is the real assassin.

Are neutrinos faster than light? No, is the answer

Scientists have made the recent ‘discovery’ that neutrinos may travel faster than the speed of light. A short trip back in time may spread light on the findings. TheBigRetort…

Scientists at the Opera (Oscillation Project with Emulsion-tRacking Apparatus) experiment in Gran Sasso, Italy, found that beams of neutrinos sent to its detectors from Cern, 730km away in Geneva, arrived earlier than they should have. But TheBigRetort can report that the claim is not ‘evidence’ that the speed of light barrier has been broken, and with it the genius that was Albert Einstein, but a manifestation of events that link back in the stellar pages of time… here on Earth

Twenty-four years ago detectors in the US, Japan and Russia observed a burst of 24 neutrinos which originated from a supernova in the Large Magellanic Cloud.

About 2 hours later, an experienced New Zealand amateur astronomer observed the area of the supernova, but noted nothing unusual.

About 3 hours after the neutrino burst however, the first visible sign of a supernova was captured on a photograph taken at a telescope in Australia. It is known as Supernova 1987A.

What was then seen as curious is that the neutrinos arrived two to three hours earlier than the light from the star. Did this mean that the neutrinos had travelled faster than light?

No: it simply meant that the neutrinos had a head start.

The core of a massive star has enough gravity to squeeze the matter in it so tightly that protons and electrons combine to form neutrons. This transformation also produces an enormous number of neutrinos. The neutrinos are able to pass through the star’s outer layers and escape into space before the star shows any outward sign of trouble.

As far back as 1987, astronomers predicted that neutrinos from a supernova would arrive before its light.

Could this be why neutrinos appeared to travel faster than the speed of light in the earthbound experiment at CERN?

If so, Einstein can rest in a steady state.

[For further reading see Robert Bigelow. http://www.clarkplanetarium.org/blog/neutrinos-and-supernova-1987a]

New Dutch film spells big opportunity for girl with English connection. TheBigRetort profiles rising star Pippa Allen.

Originally titled "Patatje Oorlog“ - “Patatje Wars” [War Fries] is based on the acclaimed book "A Little Chance" by Marjolijn Hof, and traces the lonely life of nine-year old Harriers (Pippa Allen) who constantly worries about her father, a doctor who has left home to work in a war zone. What if he gets a disease? What if he stands in the way of stray bullets? What if? Just a few of the fears that beset young Harriers on her angst-ridden journey towards an inevitable conclusion.

In order to reduce the risk that something bad may happen to her father Harriers journeys into the strangest corners of her mind.

Her fantasies are portrayed in stop-motion animation combined with live action; extraordinary for a Dutch film. It is due for later release with English subtitles - hence the title “War Fries“.

But what of that English connection?

Pippa, who is bilingual, was chosen for the role amidst thousands of Dutch hopefuls. Her grandparents live in Brockley, southeast London.

Rising starlet “Pip” is a regular visitor to their Manor Avenue house with father Paul and her equally talented brother Tommy, a gifted little comedian and break dancer.

War Fries is directed by Nicole van Kilsdonk (How do I survive Saddle Pain ).

In the roles of Harriers parents are Johnny de Mol and Rifka Lodeizen .

War Fries will premiere at the Cine Kids Festival in Amsterdam from the 12th-20th October, and is then intended for wider general release.

London riots: Alcohol to blame?

A curious incident is said to have occurred during the Lewisham riots that may keep Government experts pondering for quite some time... the sale of alcohol. TheBigRetort exclusive...

The place: Brockley Cross, London SE4

The time: Just the other day actually

Durng the riots, a shopkeeper was unsurprised when he saw a young guy saunter in, lean down, and then pick up a four-pack of beer.

However, it  was what his 'usually friendly' and 'long time' customer then went on to say that left him totally 'stunned'.

"I'm taking these!"

"Oh," the shopkeeper responded with a smile as the guy headed for the door without paying, "do you want to open a tab?"

The young man looked back, paused for a minute, and then delivered his anarchic coup de guerre: "No. I'm taking them!  And there's nothing you can do about it!"

And with that he was gone.

 "The silly thing is he's been coming into my shop for years! And he'll be back!" the bemused shopkeeper opined.

London Riots: More Smash-N-Grab

The riots in London and which also sporadically erupted around the country we now know had little if anything to do with politics or poverty. They were pre-Christmas smash-and-grab raids. 

Wondering into Lewisham shopping centre yesterday to offer our services towards the clean-up campaign we were surprised however to discover little in the way of the apocalyptic damage that was transmitted around the world over the previous evening’s news. The images that were recorded of Lewisham, usually from helicopters overhead, offered a zoom-lens view of the ‘riots’ as they happened - and a distorted one if ever.

In what were actually endless loop shots of the same events--buildings in flames, cars, and streets, ablaze-- this was (apparently) “Lewisham Burning“, and with it the end of life as we knew it.

Presented by this distant media the whole fabric of society had come apart like the seams on a badly fitting tuxedo. An apt description, the mobs seemed intent on bagging either a new pair of trainers, a tracksuit, or a mobile phone - and only the tuxedos were left on the racks. People were rightly cowering in fear... And the future Sarah Connor was set.

Be that as it may…

Remember that scene in Die Hard 4.0 where Bruce Willis is watching television in the streets showing the destruction of the Capitol building - only later to discover that it is really still standing? So too was Lewisham town centre…

We wandered the shopping area intent on searching out the 'aftermath' - and found very little sign of it. Blackheath Furniture & Electrical, Game, McDonalds, and a few more businesses with broken windows were the 'few' that greeted us. Other shops had been boarded up, but if this was due to the ’riot’ or to protect them from further damage is anyone's guess.

One thing was apparent… the mob had been somewhat selective...

The buildings chosen were not always 'establishment chains’ - as in the case of Blackheath Furniture - but the common factor was that they did sell electronic goods. Only McDonalds and Boots stood out as oddities. Perhaps the pre-and-teenage mob (the P&Ts) was hungry after its shopping spree and in need of medication to continue to the next beleaguered town centre and so could not finish its work. Perhaps it was due to police intervention.  

According to online forum and neighbourhood blog Brockley Central, (brockleycentral.blogspot.com) the lack of devastation was due to the council and its teams working through the night to turn the damage visited by this zombie tribe away from Lewisham town centre and towards others,  a policy apparently commenced by the police service itself which stood shoulder-to-shoulder to defend the walls of the citadel.

But on closer examination are things quite as they seem?

It was the aftermath of what was essentially a pre-Christmas shopping spree by a generation of feral youths. the ages of the perpetrators for the most part are said to reach from the nines into the teens. Is it any wonder that it is this age group that has very little to fear from the strong arm of the law that 'failed' to defend the streets?

This zombie army is usually (and has been for some time now, say two generations) untouched by the law and the regulatory parenting on which much of society is thankfully formed. Instead, revealing a liberal view on parenting gone awry, shops, nurseries, water sports centres (Southwark), libraries - everything but the mosques and Turkish restaurants--were closed down. This action followed the advice of a police service handcuffed and harangued by the present government on many levels and  largely employed to ensure that honest citizens may go about their day-to-day business 'freely'. It was not to be.

In fact, ironically, the only persons making 'honest' money that day were the police - and an overtime bill that will pay off many police  mortgages was due to (unstoppable) crime. And on 9/8 - a day that will go down in infamy.

The uncivil liberties taken by the few outweigh those of the many. Now, a few feral children, who should have been 'cuffed' a long time ago if not that night, have awoken our society - and for the better. But for the honest men and women who were so bowed by these events that they reacted by shutting up shop and bolting themselves into homes and buildings that had been turned into their prisons it would be mistaken for a sick joke.

But: close up shop at 1pm - why, we hear you ask.

UK Plc is in enough trouble and nearly on its knees.  Apparently it seems to have been the residents in Eltham who stood alongside each other in white T-shirts seeing off the braying babes and thereby displaying the might of the Big Society. That's the right to bare your arms in the streets, Prime Minister.

Back in Lewisham most of the shops had followed police “advice” and at 1pm exactly had closed up and boarded their windows against the oncoming ‘zombie yoof’.

The fishmonger in Lewisham was very annoyed. He was going to lose most of the day’s trade. He confided that he could not take many knocks like that in the current economic climate. However, police job done, it must be said, the oxygen of the economy had been cut off from the infected Zombie Yoof and it returned to its dark pit awaiting the full shelves of another day rather than a new moon under which to croon.

As we wondered home to the leafy conservation area of Brockley, towing a bag of fish and muscles for the evening meal and for which we paid plenty, it was not a sign of devastation that greeted us that day: but total capitulation.

Londoners, having fought off the air raids of a Nazi enemy some seventy years earlier--on the advice of what was once a mighty police ‘force’-- had given in to a marauding and rabid bunch of foetuses. Forget a virus insidiously turning ordinary folk into raving lunatics, the virus is amongst us and we are already infected. It's called government; and it has turned the streets over to the hooded zombies. But it should be noted that this capitulation of our streets and shops was not itself a total eclipse.

At Brockley Cross a few die-hards, those who felt they were beyond approach (or threat perhaps?) stayed open; Tickle Me Take-away; Nats Bake, the Brockley Barge pub, Costcutter, and, thankfully--in our case at least--the Orchard Bar & Kitchen in Harefield Road.

The latter had a surreal air about it as we sauntered past later with the dog. It was as if it was one of few buildings left standing (open) in post apocalyptic Lewisham. Almost like the last chance saloon, people sat inside-and-out oblivious to the police sirens, which are quite usual for an area with the largest police station in Europe, and the helicopters, which are not. The patrons, Guardianistas perhaps, were sipping beers and wines and seemingly enjoying themselves as they tucked into the cuisine - without a care in the world.

It was of course both a welcome and illusory sight...

This was after all Lewisham post 9/8. The Night of the Foetuses was their Dunkirk and the patrons we understand were meeting this young anarchic enemy at the beer pump, if not the beaches.

Police warning aside, this courageous stand was much to do with the owner Edmund. ”Ed“ who obviously listened to police advice, promptly ignored it. It was after all only the “opinion“ of a police service that was once a "force" and would itself earn quite a crust that day, whilst keeping its long arms quietly folded. An action for which Ed and many a taxpayer will surely meet the cost. And yet Ed, with a remarkable resemblance to Tom Cruise in War of the Worlds, made his stand that day; together with a few other stalwarts. This is a courage that will be recognised long after the little enemy has retired to its cot nappy sopping wet after a day at the windows. Where were you they may one day ask each other.

This “scum”, as they were repeatedly labelled on southeast London online forum Brockley Central, would eventually get its just 'rewards'. Most of the BC participants, a few them regulars, had little doubt what should be done with the feral perpetrators. One Lou Baker said., “Let the dogs on these pathetic little chavs.” Whilst Anonymous one of many) said, “Scum of thee (sic) earth!” Ken said, “Lewisham High street is a complete no go area - AVOID AT ALL COSTS - cars are on fire and the place looks like a zombie apocalypse.” More to the point, Elsa said, “The youth of the Middle East rose up for democracy. The youth of London rise up for Nike trainers, flat screen TVs and mobile phones.”

Lou Baker, who apparently lives on a nearby mount displayed an apparent and customary lack of diplomacy and added later: “These chavs must be stopped. Let's shoot them.” It was not meant as a joke. The “chavs” and “scum”, captured in the stocks of a southeast London online forum, will, when captured, be summarily executed. [Founded by Nick Barron of Edelman, Brockley Central claimed 16,000 hits that day, some from overseas parents concerned about their children at Goldsmiths College.]

Only… in the civilised world this will not happen and the process of asking what went wrong will take place. The past of course will be dug up and previous governments will be blamed. However, the warning signs have long been buried… and in classrooms around the nation old canes might just be taken out of teachers’ closets, dusted down, and make a familiar swishing sound known only to a few.

"Shame," we hear someone in nearby Telegraph Hill say, “Just shoot them!” But that’s just one of a growing band of Lous out there.

EuroMillions: winners unmasked

Colin and Chris Weir of Largs in Ayrshire have been named as the couple who scooped the £161m on the EuroMillions jackpot this week.


The pair have been married for 30 years..

The winning numbers were 17, 19, 38, 42 and 45, and the lucky stars were 9 and 10.

The record haul will put them in 430th place on the Sunday Times Rich List.
 
Och Aye the you!

New of the World Brooks Covertly Recorded: transcript

TheBigRetort has obtained a transcript of News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks informing News Of The World staff of her ‘arrogance’. Taken from a secret recording by a member of Ms Brooks’ staff, the (edited) transcript also includes the explosive admission that more revelations are 'on the way':

Rebekah Brooks:

... and I remember the team spirit of the paper where you all, who were there came alongside me and we fought for something we believed in, and I remember when we saw all the news headlines that came in the next day - we were rubbished everywhere and there was an opinion poll that said ‘97% of the British public agree with you‘.

And we were like ‘right, here we are, we're up and running‘. And so I feel very strongly exactly the same as you, and that's why I said "mounting anger". And you know, I'm not saying- you know, this is not exactly the best time in my life, but I'm determined to get vindication for this paper. And for people like you.

Unknown staff member:

Will the paper come out again once you've got vindication for it? What I don't understand is, can't you see that by your actions yesterday (Thursday), you're calling our newspaper toxic, right? We're all contaminated by that toxicity, by the way we've been treated. But can't you see the bigger picture? You're making the whole of News International toxic, and the arrogance there that you think we would want to work here again.
[Applause]

Mrs Brooks:

You know what there's not an arrogance about wanting you to work for us again at all and I'm sorry that came across. All I meant was that if any of you did want to, that I was going to try and find opportunities, but please believe me, there's no arrogance coming from this standpoint.

On your point about - you know, you said will the paper come out again? We have a belief in journalism, we have invested in journalism throughout our history. Yes we're in a very bad moment, but we will continue to invest in journalism. And we haven't made a decision on any new publications, or strengthening or expanding existing ones yet.

It's too soon, we just don't know what to do. But in those circumstances - I don't see there's any of you in this room here looking at me now - that we wouldn't want to work because we know there's no toxicity attached to you guys in the room and that's the sadness.

It wouldn't be sad, we wouldn't all be feeling like this if you guys were up to your neck in it like previous colleagues. We wouldn't be feeling like this would we?

[Applause in response].

Mrs Brooks stated that she was a ‘working journalist‘ who had been employed at the paper ‘since I was 19 years old‘.

Brooks added: You are trying to say to me that because an allegation came in that we do not know if it is true, you think I should resign? If you think this is a bundle of laughs trying to fight and get this company's reputation back, it isn't.

I see what she saw now

Mrs Brooks stated that the senior staff ‘have more visibility perhaps with what we can see coming than you guys‘.

I am tied by the criminal investigation but I think in a year's time, every single one of you in this room might come up and say ‘I see what she saw now‘.

Mrs Brooks:

Eventually it will come out why things went wrong and who was responsible and that will be another very difficult moment in this company's history.

Brooks went on to claim that she was sorry that people the paper trusted had ‘let us down, and that's the case‘.

On a point of her resignation, she added:

If being betrayed is a resignation issue maybe I should, but I think I am much more useful leading the company through this.

End (edited) transcript.

News of the World: Police bribery claims decades old

The current debacle surrounding Rupert Murdoch and his New of the World team of hacks has the feeling of deja vu about it.  Readers interested in glancing back in time need to leap back two decades.

In 1999 a NotW reporter was arrested for bribing a police officer and for conspiracy.

Later, in 2000, News of the World reporter Neville Thurlbeck faced trial on a charge of offering a police officer a "gift" for obtaining information.

Det Con Farmer, who worked for Hertfordshire Police but was seconded to the National Criminal Intelligence Service (NCIS) at the time of the alleged offences, and Mr Thurlbeck both pleaded not guilty.

The prosecution had alleged that Mr Thurlbeck, 38, paid Det Con Farmer to supply information on people whose details were kept on a confidential police computer.

Jurors were told Det Con Farmer, 53, made scores of police computer checks on people's criminal records for Mr Thurlbeck.

At Luton Crown Court, Mr Justice McKinnon directed the jury to acquit Mr Thurlbeck and his co-accused Det Con Farmer, after hearing the prosecution evidence. He said there was not enough evidence for the jury to be sure Det Con Farmer supplied information to Mr Thurlbeck for reward. Both the accused were cleared of conspiracy to corrupt and there was no case for either to answer.

Rupert Murdoch's phone hacked - revelation.

Following in the wake of the News of the World phone hacking scandal, TheBigRetort does the dirty - and hacks Rupert Murdoch's mobile.

Murdoch: Hello... Rupert Murdoch speaking, how can I help you?

Chief Hacker: Mr Murdoch sir this is Chief Hacker calling from London.

Murdoch: Holey doley, mate, you’re interrupting my Barbie. Hope this is good - I‘ve got journos around me like bities.

Chief hacker: It’s come on top, Mr M. It's time to bail out.

Murdoch: (choking on his Four X) No way. I’m a battler!

Chief hacker: It’s a done deal... straight from the Met Commissioner's phone..

Murdoch (sighing): I blame that Milliband

Chief hacker: which one?

Murdoch: The banana bender.

Chief hacker: Ed?

Murdoch: That wog should mind his own bizzo! He‘s a kangaroos loose in the top paddock that one!

Chief hacker: Wanna turn him over?

Murdoch:: No! No! No! On no account are you to hack anymore? He‘s not the full quid that one. Talks through his left nostril. (Pause, followed by heavy sigh.) What about arranging a little bingle?

Chief hacker: Err… I don’t do motor vehicle accidents.

Rupert: Why?

Chief hacker: Err... I’m just a hack. Pond life.

Murdoch: Bloody oath, mate! Don’t I know it. Don’t mean to big-note but I made that paper what it is.

Chief hacker: Best not admit to that… in court I mean.

Murdoch: Strewth mate. Think it’ll come to that?  All sounds a bit pig‘s arse to me. I was within cooee of controlling the news of the whole world. Of course I’ll get the knock back on Bsky- that’ll cost big bikkies - and now…. One minute drinking with the flies… now I’m not worth a zack. Did I tell you that I‘d met the Queen - now I couldn’t even get a job at Maccas. There’s nothing for it, I’ll have to Billabong it. Go straight off the coat hanger, that‘ll show ‘em who‘s boss. That’s what I’m gonna do.

Chief hacker: Well before you do a Maxwell… you should know that it was Cameron… in with that big mouth what finally done it. You know he has Botox injections?

Murdoch: Stops him sweating. [Laughs ironically.] We kept that one quiet for that regular wowser. Don’t make me liquid laugh! Thought that pommie bastard was a cobber but he dobbed me in - the bludger! He’s a boomer, in with this paper and out with that, then back in again. And now… make one little blue and see how they treat yeh!

Chief Hacker: Sorry, Mr M… got to go. I’ve got an interview… at the Mail.

Murdoch: That’d be right.. Go on then, hack off hairy legs! Heaps mate, no dramas, I’m rooted anyway. I’m moving beyond the black stump to me rellies.. Probably take a few roadies with me. Hooroo

Chief hacker: Mr M, what would you like to do with the last edition?

Murdoch (a threatening pause): Give all those tall poppies an Ausie salute from me, will yeh mate!

Tape ends...

Coming this Sunday in the News of the World: ‘The Queen’s secret lover’ ‘Cameron does Botox’ ‘Milliband in porn shock’

New of the World Axed: last edition this Sunday.

News just in...

Readers of The New of the World are said to be 'shocked' following recent plans to axe the newspaper following in the wake of its phone hacking scandal. James Murdoch, son of the paper's owner Rupert Murdoch, has announced that this Sunday's edition will be the paper's last.

It was reported to Yahoo! News by a News of the World journalist that James Murdoch broke the news to staff this afternoon. Many journalists are said to be distraught and phoning their families.

In a statement James Murdoch said: "Having consulted senior colleagues, I have decided that we must take further decisive action with respect to the paper. This Sunday will be the last issue of the News of the World. We will run no commercial advertisements this weekend. Any advertising space in this last edition will be donated to causes and charities that wish to expose their good works to our millions of readers."

Ed Miliband, leader of the Labour party, remains adamant that News International Chief Executive Rebekah Brooks should lose her job. "Closing down the News of the World does not solve the problem" he told BBC News.

Rupert Murdoch is refusing to comment.

The BBC has reported that the URLs TheSunOnSunday.co.uk and TheSunOnSunday.com were registered two days ago by an unknown company.

Strauss-Kahn back in court amidst dropped charges leak - DA sex crimes unit jumps ship

The district attorney who handled the Dominique Straus Kahn sex trial may have ‘jumped before she was pushed,’ according to a well place source within the sex crimes unit.

The district attorney’s office formerly declined to comment on the matter, save to say that the former DA, Lisa Friel, now plans ‘to explore other professional opportunities outside the office.’

Mr. Strauss-Kahn remains on bail after being charged with the attempted rape of a hotel housekeeper and also forcing her to perform oral sex. He has always maintained his innocence.

Mr Straus-Kahn is due in court today following doubts about the victim’s allegations.



Watch this space….

Max Melitzer: homeless heir's tragic death crash

Recently a homeless man who wandered the streets of Utah pushing a shopping trolley was tracked down by a private detective. He had some money coming to him from an inheritance and didn’t know it. It was hoped the windfall would turn his life around. However good fortune did not always shine on Max Melitzer. TheBigRetort exclusive… it began with a rollover.

Penniless Max Melitzer may have inherited a fortune that many hope will allow him to turn his life around, however his has not always been a rags-to-riches fairy story: but a tragedy.

July 1990... It was a Tuesday afternoon...

A highway in Wyoming five miles east of Rock Springs.

The driver drifted off the road and overcorrected the vehicle, according to the Wyoming Highway Patrol.

Unfortunately all four passengers were not wearing seat belts and were ejected from the car as it did a rollover.

Cindy Lee Jones, 36, died on the way to the hospital, and Glen Chrietzderg, 36, also of Ogden, died later at the University of Utah Hospital.

Janice Melitzer's, 44, the driver’s wife, died in the crash.

The driver, Max Melitzer, then also aged 44, was taken to Sweetwater County Memorial Hospital where he remained in a stable condition. He was the sole survivor.

Twenty one years later Max was roaming the streets.

Recently a police officer discovered him sleeping in a car in an Ogden salvage yard.

Was the rollover accident the trigger that set off a series of a events that led to Max pushing a shopping trolley with all his earthly belongings for over two decades? Was Max, burdened by grief, continuously visiting the crash site?

Max is said to have roamed the area between Salt Lake City and Ogden, the scene of the crash - and that‘s where fortune later found him.

We wish him much happiness.

2012 Olympic torch falls on Brockley



The 2012 Olympic torch has been unveiled by that creative London design team Edward Barber and Jay Osgerby. But was the inspiration for the 'flame' really an upside-down building? TheBigRetort remarkable expose...

It may come as a shock to the eventual Olympic torchbearer, but as he or she pounds through the streets of London, a rather tall building may cast a shadow over the 2012 event… the Shard.

Shock! Horror! Oh no! What can they mean?

We mean that the flame of the original idea may have kindled out of the minds of Barber and Osgerby as they stared out of their back window - and upside down - in Brockley.

Libellous speculation we grant, but we are neighbours and have also hung out of our back window - and seen it upside down. (Admittedly though this was after a heavy party.)

Whatever... we feel certain that this dynamic and innovative duo is going to light up the whole of London - from 2012, and beyond.

Obama steps up the drones: Breaking news

Pakistani leaders have protested that the country's sovereignty has been violated by the US following a series of drone strikes that have left 17 militants killed in the country's northwest tribal region.


All of Monday's strikes were in South Waziristan, near the Afghan border.
The attacks display to militants and the Pakistani government that President Barak Obama will not hold back when it comes to tracking down the enemy in a capture or kill policy that is more about the killing.

'Wanted dead, that's the policy at the Whitehouse now,' a Washington insider informed TheBigRetort.

Strauss-Kahn CASE: Breaking news

The former head of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Khan, is due to appear in a New York court for his arraignment, and has insisted he is innocent of the charges

Defence team member claims evidence undermines procecution.

William W Taylor, on behalf of Mr Straus-Kahn, has written that there is evidence to "gravely undermine the credibility of the complainant in this case".


Mr Strauss-Kahn faces charges of sexual assault and attempting to rape a hotel maid last month.


It will be his first appearance in court since he was released on bail set at $6m (£3.65m).

Al-Qaida, antimatter weapons and the positron bomb

An international team at the CERN institute in Switzerland has managed to create 300 atoms of "anti-hydrogen" and stop them from collapsing into oblivion for a grand total of almost 17 minutes. Five thousand times longer than they had previously achieved. The research, published in the journal Nature Physics, represents a landmark in one of the most potentially profound areas of science. However, it also awakens  the spectre of an antimatter weapon so destructive that it may herald the end of every living creature on the planet. Be that as it may… TheBigRetort

Is an antimatter weapon a giant leap closer for humanity? Antimatter was created in the laboratory for the first time last November. Long the preserve of science fiction writers, in Dan Brown’s bestseller Angels & Demons a tiny device with the destructive power of a nuclear warhead hinges on a plot to blow up the Vatican, it has often been dismissed as alarmist by the scientific community.  That was until we happened to take a look at the 'What Ifs' out there.

The antimatter bomb of science fiction brings with it hysterical concerns that the long-term potentials of such a weapon are being downplayed in order to preserve a devastating and deadly secret: that scientists can now build a positron bomb.

CERN scientists claimed today that it is feasible to maintain the atoms for as long as a couple of hours in suspension. The atoms are the opposite of normal atoms, consisting of negatively-charged protons and positively-charged electrons. If they come into contact with normal atoms they are mutually annihilated.

Howver, the technology needed to contain antimatter in sufficient quantities for it to be a useful weapon has always stood in the way of a such a device being used as a powerful weapon and is deemed unlikely in the lifetime of our soalr system. However, in theory, the advantage of such a weapon is that antimatter and matter collisions would convert a larger fraction of the weapon's mass into explosive energy than that of a fusion reaction in a hydrogen bomb say.

I am become death the destroyer.

“A positron weapon would leave behind no nuclear residue, and would be devastating if it fell into the hands of terrorists,“ one particle physicist informed us. He asked not to be named. “The problem has always been the ability to store positrons for long periods of time, a significant technical and scientific difficulty."

But that was then... What now?”

Apparently, with the recent news that CERN has managed to contain antimatter for 16 minutes, having previously claimed that there was ‘no possibility’ to manufacture antimatter bombs due to not being able to accumulate enough of it at high enough density, concerns are being raised.

Should science continue further? 

It is believed by some that scientists, not just at CERN, are secretly working to find a more efficient means of storing the antimatter and releasing its energy - thereby creating an antimatter weapon of devastating force.

Or so it is claimed in conspiracy circles...

Scientists at CERN scoff at such allegations. All the antimatter made at CERN, if annihilated with matter, would only have enough energy to light a single electric light bulb for a few minutes they claim.

But what if scientists at CERN, like those scientists who worked on the atomic bomb, wanted to keep a devestating secret? 

What we think we know…

The only ‘known’ technologies for producing antimatter currently is the particle accelerator which are considered to be highly inefficient and expensive. In fact, it is publicly claimed that it will take two billions of years to make an equivalent of the current typical hydrogen bomb at the current production rate of antimatter. But now that CERN scientists have upped the ‘anti’ what then?

Unfortunately the additional problem is the containment of antimatter. Antimatter annihilates with regular matter on contact, so it would be necessary to prevent contact, for example by producing antimatter in the form of solid charged or magnetized particles, and suspending them in a near perfect vacuum. Enter CERN and its super collider where particles are regularly smashed together at enormous speeds. The process is very slow and enormously time-consuming making the production of a weapon that could tear the earth apart - could it?- as extremely unlikely.

But what of space ‘out there’ our 'deepthroat' physicist asks. “Outer space is a gigantic super-conducting super-collider, a near-perfect- vacuum, that has been working for billions of years with all sorts of exotic materials.” 

Perhaps though al-Qaida may not have to wait such a very long to time or go so far before it gets its hands on such a weapon. TheBigRetort can reveal that a recent Patent that we uncovered suggests that the clock is ticking on the creation of  antimatter bomb. It follows research into the production of thermal antineutrons and antiprotons.

Because we believe it should be classified, and has slipped through the security net, we have removed the author' details. The patent is for a method for obtaining free thermal antineutrons by ‘trapping the neutrons' and producing 'antiprotons‘. The background of the invention claims priority to previous applications dating back to 2004, and to which we have also declined to publish further detail. The invention disclosure relates to ‘a new method for the direct production of thermal antineutrons and thermal antiprotons from thermal neutrons‘.

In terrorists' hands?

The theory predicts that a neutron that is cold enough to be contained by the interior walls of a suitable vessel may oscillate into an antineutron ‘without violating any quantum conservation laws‘. The applicants demonstrate that the art in this disclosure represents the first reduction of neutron-antineutron oscillation theory into practice. And if it fell into terrorists' hands it would spell the end for us all.

In the previous disclosure, the applicants referenced neutron-antineutron oscillation only as ‘a theoretical possibility‘.  In other words, once the a population of neutrinos is trapped, approximately 50% exists in the antineutron state at any subsequent time.

But what if the theory became fact?

The patent goes on to state... The resultant beta decay radiation has a characteristic half-life of 10.25 minutes as the previous patent disclosure demonstrates. The trapped antineutrons decay by positron decay. Positrons are electrons with a positive electrical charge; in other words anti-electrons.

Positrons are distinguishable from beta particles because they will annihilate with electrons. In fact, the applicants' research demonstrates that these annihilation energy emissions exhibit a 10.25-minute decay half-life. This is the same half-life as the trapped neutrons demonstrated in the previous disclosure. The accepted half-life of a free neutron is 10.25 minutes. Antineutrons, presumably, also have a 10.25-minute half-life. In words put simple… one manifestation of this invention is a process that easily and economically converts free thermal neutrons into free thermal antineutrons. These antineutrons may decay to positrons, antiprotons, and neutrinos. The antiprotons thus produced have low thermal energy. A method that is described as ’new art‘ by the inventors. They add, “The ability of neutrons to undergo this conversion is a heretofore-undemonstrated prediction of theoretical physics. “

If the trapping of the antineutrons is ‘new art‘ then the ‘current art‘ permits collection and storage of thermal neutrons but not the trapping and storage of antineutrons. Now this has suddenlly changed...

Another manifestation of the invention is what the scientists describe as ‘fullerene containing a trapped antiproton‘. The possibility that neutrons may oscillate into antineutrons is a prediction of grand unification models in gauge field theories. As long as the electrostatic charge of a neutron is identically zero, this oscillation violates no quantum conservation law. It does violate one experimental "law," the conservation of baryon number. However there is no theoretical basis for this "law." And no published peer-reviewed observations violate it.

The deep energy well

The scientific paper goes on to reveal that a ‘deep energy well’ exists at the centre of this  fullerene molecule. Following a complicated process, to our thinking at least, the patent applicants' believe this same mechanism traps simple hydrogen, and tritium in the centre of fullerene molecules. Like neutrons, they are all electro-statically neutral and they all have magnetic fields. “The applicants are unaware of any other art that can produce a uniform beam of high-energy neutrons and antineutrons.”

A ’deep energy well‘… what can this mean?

Is it actually now possible to form a beam of fullerene molecules containing trapped neutrons and antineutrons in a particle accelerator, such as that used at CERN? Once the accelerator forms the beam, it can ‘direct the beam ‘- into a cataclysmic power.

Antiprotons provide a variety of propulsion options for vehicles as diverse as submarines, aircraft, and spacecraft and so have positive contributions to make beyond weaponry. The potential power or thrust per pound is literally many orders of magnitude greater than current art chemical propellants and even current art nuclear propulsion technology can deliver. But, and this should not be understated, a uniform beam of neutrons and antineutrons at energies above those available in natural nuclear reactions can now be turned into a weapon of true ‘mass’ destruction.

TheBigRetort, having uncovered this shocking paper, hopes that the patent is removed - immediately.

[Editor nore. Due to the sensitive nature of this information we have not provided full details in this article.]

Germany Sprouts Ecoli: Nein not Sicks

German diners may be both relieved and concerned that the recent E.coli outbreak may have been narrowed down to a single suspect - sprouts. TheBigRetort asks, were the warning bells ringing a decade prior to the recent outbreak?

If German sprouts do turn out to be the culprit responsible for 22 deaths (and climbing) German health watchdogs, may find it prudent to further examine a scientific paper that presaged such an event - over a decade ago.

The paper, which was published in January 1998 and was researched by a number of Japanese scientists, the National Institute of Infectious Diseases amongst them.

The group, using cultivation, immunofluorescence microscopy, and scanning electron microscopy, demonstrated the presence of viable enterohemorrhagic Escherichia coli O157:H7 not only on the outer surfaces but also in the inner tissues and stomata of cotyledons of radish sprouts grown from seeds experimentally and contaminated with the bacterium.

HgCl2 treatment of the outer surface of the hypocotyl did not kill the contaminating bacteria. Recommendation emphasized the importance of either using seeds free from E. coli O157:H7 in the production of radish sprouts 'or heating the sprouts before they are eaten'.

In other words... cook it hot.  Or, in the German vernacular, 'nein' not 'sicks'.